Episode 1: Follow the Smoke Transcript

Transcript Note: Next in the Order’s episodes are hand-transcribed by members of the cast. If you find issues with accuracy, clarity, or formatting, please let us know and we’ll get it fixed as soon as we possibly can! You can contact us via Instagram or Twitter @nextintheorder.

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[WAVE SOUNDS]

JAS: The Forever Sea pounds tirelessly against the shoreline of Citarya. Each wave hits with reckless force, crashing in a brutal rhythm. One wave comes, and then the next, each impossibly different from the last but coming in with the same purpose, pulled to act by the triplet moons overhead. We follow the glimmering light of the moons. We see them shine over each of the seasons. All six seasons, fixed in place on the perfectly round face of Citarya. They shine over summer, spring, endless night, winter, autumn, and endless day.

[THEME MUSIC BEGINS]

JAS: Then, we focus in on autumn, still following the moonlight until we see it pouring onto the floor of a dingy room in an equally dingy tavern. This is Next In The Order.

[THEME MUSIC]

JAS: Hello one and all and welcome to the first episode of Next In The Order! I am you not-so-humble Dungeon Master, Jas and I use they/them pronouns. Now we’re gonna go around the table and we’re gonna meet each of the players, and they’re gonna introduce themselves and their pronouns.

MAR: Hello! I am Mar, I use she/they pronouns.

NORTH: Hello, I’m North, I use he/they pronouns.

MARS: Howdy hey y’all, I’m Mars, I use they/them pronouns.

MERCER: Hi! I’m Mercer. I also use they/them pronouns.

WINK: Hi, I’m Wink and I use yes. Yes, I use pronouns, all of them. Sure, it’s fine!

JAS: You’ve met us, now let’s dive straight into that good old content. All right. So we follow that light of the moonlight into a dingy room of an equally dingy tavern. We open on Cire, staying in the room of a tavern, on the second floor of the Ink-Dipped Quill. Mar, will you please describe your character for us?

MAR: Yeah. So Cire is a moon elf, and - like Jas said, there are three moons, so there are three types of moon elves. Cire is a moon elf of Halluc. I’m sure there will be more on that.

JAS: Oh, yeah.

MAR: So, basically what that means for Cire is that in the sun, her hair and the whites of her eyes look like rainbow moonstone. She’s kinda got a blueish-purple theme going on. She has a greatsword and a greataxe crossed across her back, because she’s an paladin. The biggest thing is that she’s kinda dressed in normal fantasy garb except for her boots, which are decades-old platform Profs.

JAS: They’re fantasy Doc Martens. They’re Profs.

MAR: They’re Profs. What’s the full brand name?

JAS: They’re Professor Astens. So, yeah. Profs. So, what is Cire doing right now?

MAR: It’s around sunset?

JAS: Yes, the sun has gone down completely. There’s just a bunch of moonlight pouring into the room. This is a special night - it happens probably once every four-ish months for a span of four days, where all three moons are visible in the sky at the same time.

MAR: So, the first thing she’ll do is - she’s an elf, so she doesn’t sleep, she trances, but before her trance, she focuses on Levion, who is one of the moon gods, and the god that Cire is a paladin of. This is the closest that she gets to traditional prayer. She’s somewhat informal, but she also holds a not insignificant fear of her god, so she’s respectful but somewhat informal with her prayers. Then she takes her weapons, her axe and her sword, and puts them in direct moonlight to do any cleaning or maintenance that needs to be done on them. And then, finally, and the last one - so, the last thing that she does is that she has a type of incense that she found… well, more on how she found it later. She has a specific incense that she lights and this is the only ritual that she doesn’t - so this is the only one of her nighttime rituals that she doesn’t do in direct moonlight. Except tonight, she will. So the last thing she’s doing is lighting that incense and then she’ll be heading to bed.

JAS: Wonderful. And we watch the incense curl up, the smoke making rhythmic patterns, and we watch it flood out of the room. There’s almost a supernatural air to it as it goes down the hall, and we see it go under the first door on the left, and in that room, we see a tall, willowy figure. Wink, will you please describe your character?

WINK: Okay, so, Hesperis is… honestly, if you saw her in public, you would think, “What the fuck is that walking tree?” She’s just under seven feet tall - she’s never really measured how tall she is, so [SOUND OF UNCERTAINTY] She’s very tall and thin, like almost looks like she’s made of vines. She has very bronze-y skin. Her hair and her eyes are almost yellowish-green, like the color of leaves at the very beginning of autumn. And then her hair also - I use the word hair loosely, it’s lots of small vines growing out of her head, and in the vines she also has little clusters of purple blossoms, and they’re wisteria, because I’m gay. [PLAYERS LAUGH]

And they’re wisteria. And she’s just, she’s got her bass out, and it’s an electric bass, but in autumn there’s no electricity because it is Ye Olden Times™. And so she’s just plucking out a quiet melody and kinda grooving along with it. Oh! Still describing appearance, she has antlers.

JAS: That’s kind of important, yeah.

WINK: She has antlers, they just have three little prongs each, they’re maybe six inches tall - so just peeking over the tops of her vines, and she’s got little delicate chains wrapped around them and little jewelry hanging off of them. And she is dressed like a fruit bat going to a tea party. So, yeah, she looks really weird, but she’s just vibing. She’s just grooving.

JAS: Yeah, and just hanging out as she sits there, and we watch the incense curl around her room and go back out under the door and to the first door on the right, in which we see - who do we see, North?

NORTH: Oh, yes, goody! We see Valus. Valus is around 5’11”, he’s dressed in kind of a looser - looser professor attire, he’s got on slacks, he’s got some decently cheap dress shoes, and his nice little comfy, loose button down that he likes to wear. He’s sitting in his window because whenever he grades his students’ papers, is when he likes to take his chances and go up and stretch his wings. But since it’s nighttime, he doesn’t really like to do that at night, so he sits in his window and kind of stretches them out. I guess I should mention that he’s an Avariel - a winged elf - so he likes to stretch it out. His wingspan’s probably about thirteen feet, so he’s kinda packing with some wings.

JAS: What, like, flavor of wings are they? Are they like, angel wings, eagle wings? What’s the vibe?

NORTH: They look more like owl wings. Kinda like looser feathers, more pronged out, and then angel wings are a little but more tight.

MAR: So what you’re telling me is the nerds are owl bitches?

MARS: Hoot, hoot, motherfucker.

[EVERYONE LAUGHS]

JAS: Cool, so we see a stack of papers in Valus’ lap

NORTH: He’s got a couple reference books on the brain, and things that he’s flipping back and forth and, his wings’ll flap excitedly if he reads a paper that he likes.

JAS: That’s very good. Right now you’ve got one in your lap that’s just… like, did they show up to the class? You know they did, because you took attendance, but…

MAR: Did they? Did they really?

JAS: Did they really show up? And so we watch as the incense smoke just gently brushes against your red pen that you’ve got gripped in your hand, and watch as - yeah, death gripping the pen. No. We watch the incense smoke curl past it and around, and then go back out under the door, and into the next door on the left, and Mercer, who do we see there.

MERCER: So, sitting on the bed in the room is a very tall aasimar, but he’s cross-legged and hunched down, kinda making himself small because it’s an comfortable position to sit in. He has a shock of white shoulder-length hair and half of it is pulled up to keep it out of his eyes. His name is Caelum, I’m stupid, and he is wearing comfortable traveling attire, aside from the singular hoodie that he owns that he obtained from Ye Olde Beavertown. [JAS LAUGHING] Which is simply fantasy Buc-ees.

JAS: If you’re not from Texas or the south just in general, just Google it. I’m begging you to Google Buc-ees. It’s such a nightmare.

MARS: It’ll change your life. Just trust us on this one.

MAR: I still have never been to Buc-ees.

JAS and MARS: Oh my God.

MERCER: The hoodie has slits in the back cut out for his rather large wings. He has - he’s like seven feet tall, so he has about a fourteen-foot wingspan, and his wings right now are a slightly orange color. He has tanner skin, olive green eyes, and a tattoo of a vine in lighter ink than his skin tone wrapping all around his neck, torso, hands, so it’s kind of peeking out over the sleeves and the hole of his sweatshirt.

JAS: I hate that that’s how you described it, like, yes. The hood, yeah.

NORTH: You had to get that foot on my wingspan, huh?

MERCER: Yes, fully. I’m also at least a foot taller than you.

NORTH: That’s fine. Oh, well yeah, well, that makes sense.

WINK: Just whip ‘em out, boys.

MERCER: I’ve already said it, my spiritual dick is twelve feet long.

JAS: I don’t know about that, but okay. Yes love?

MAR: I just realized that everyone else said how tall they are, and I did not say how tall Cire was. Cire is about six feet tall. She hasn’t kept that close of track because she’s like… a hundred and forty-something, I think?

JAS: In that ballpark.

MAR: It’s in my notes. She’s lost count.

NORTH: We can just give them [INAUDIBLE]

MAR: Anyway, important information, she’s about six feet tall and she is, in fact, a beefy elf.

JAS: Beefy elf. All right, back to Caelum. We see Caelum in his room as he’s just kind of - we see him shake out his feathers, grab a stray couple of feathers that are out of place, gently pruning himself, and we watch the smoke of the incense curl through his fingers before escaping back under the door into the final room on this floor, under the door there. And Mars, you’ve been vibrating with excitement. Who do we see there?

MARS: I kinda said it earlier, but you’re looking at a fucking owl. Kind of sitting at the desk in the room, you see - well, there’s Sylacrum. He’s an Owlin. He’s 5’8”, he’s got white feathers with a little grey mixed in, his eyes are bright purple, his beak’s… his beak looks like it got dipped in grape Kool-Aid, to say the least.

JAS: I hate that that’s how you described it. We’re starting off really strong with bad descriptions. I’m really proud this is what we’re doing.

MARS: I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.

WINK: (In background) Oh, no.

MARS: I was just gonna say he’s missing a wing. He’s kind of on his back, he’s wearing probably a hoodie with two slits cut into the back of it, but ones kind of haphazardly sewn, so there’s part of his right wing kind of sticking out but the rest is just gone. And his left wing, kind of like the rest of his feathers - still the same pattern, kind of has a weird gradient where it starts off white to grey to a really light purple, and outstretched, I would say that wing’s about six and a half feet.

JAS: We’re really just trying to get that wingspan in there.

MARS: I’ve got one wing, damn it, gotta compensate somehow.

JAS: Mmm.

MARS: And I think out of all this I forgot to mention Sylacrum’s height. And Sylacrum is about 5’8”. We’re all tall but I’m the shortest motherfucker in here.

MAR: Oh you fully mentioned the height.

MARS: Oh, I did?

MAR: Mm-hmm.

JAS: Details! It’s fine! And so we watch as the smoke enters the room, flits up through - what is Sylacrum doing right now?

MARS: Right now he’s just kind of fiddling with a little gadget in his hand, trying to get it to just play some type of music because he’s bored out of his mind, while his prosthetic wing is laid out across his bed.

JAS: Yeah, you’ve got - some cogs have popped out of place, and you’ve got some gears sitting all strewn across. There’s already oil getting on the sheets of the bed somehow, and that’s gonna be a bitch, but whatever, and we watch as this incense smoke comes into the room and passes over the wing and then disperses. Wink, you have a thought?

WINK: Well, Sylacrum’s not in charge of the laundry.

JAS: It’s not really Sylacrum’s problem, but it definitely is. Yes? Oh, yes. Real quick, go ahead and say your character’s pronouns, please.

MAR: Cire’s are she/her.

NORTH: Valus typically goes by he/they.

MARS: Sylacrum usually uses he/they.

MERCER: Caelum also uses he/they.

WINK: Are we just a bunch of he/they’s and she/her’s? Because Hesperis is also she/her. But like, in a trans way. You’ll figure it out later.

JAS: Yes. Cool, so then you all get up to your nightly routines, each doing whatever it is that you do before you go to bed, or to trance, or whatever, on the second floor of the Ink-Dipped Quill. Yes?

WINK: (whispering) I have a question.

JAS: (whispering) Yeah?

WINK: (whispering) Does Hesperis trance or sleep?

JAS: (whispering) Hesperis sleeps.

WINK: (whispering) Okay, cool, got it.

JAS: (whispering) Yeah. (normal volume) So, each of you get up to do whatever it is that you do on the second floor of the Ink-Dipped Quill. And the night passes without incident. Now I need all of you to roll perception checks.

MERCER: It’s a d20, there.

JAS: What’s the first roll of the campaign?

WINK: First roll of the campaign is a nat three, but it ends up being a seven.

JAS: Oh, God.

NORTH: Mine’s also a nat three.

JAS: Y’all.

MARS: Oh, no.

MAR: Twenty-two.

JAS: Oh, great.

WINK: Hesperis doesn’t hear shit.

MARS: Okay, so I rolled a four, but it’s seven total.

JAS: Okay. We got a fifteen? And then a twenty-two. Cire rolled a twenty-two, Caelum got a fifteen. That’s the C Crew, I guess. So, the rest of you get up in the morning like “Ah, yes, normal day. Excellent. Time to get ready for my day in this tavern.”

WINK: It sure do be a day all right.

JAS: It sure do be a day. You two get up and you start doing whatever it is you do in the morning, like washing your face, doing whatever, and - yes?

MAR: More little rituals!

JAS: Cire starts doing little rituals, but something stops each of you dead. It is quiet. Like, this is a quiet little town. The town of Aurora, that y’all are staying in, it’s a tourist city mostly, and kind of a stopping point from people on the Inner Wheel coming through in Autumn, and just kind of like a traveling point, kind of a tourist town, whatever, but in this moment, you don’t hear anything. You start to hear the noise of people on your floor waking up, but there is no sound from the streets outside, that were wide awake last night. There is no sounds of carriages moving through, there is no sounds of the food being prepared in the tavern, there’s just… nothing. Whattya do?

MERCER: Caelum is going to - he was in the middle of tucking his wings under his backpack, because it’s a really awkward fit to put a fairly big traveling bag over a set of wings, but he’s going to stop and listen for a second, and then go look out the window to see if he can see anyone outside.

JAS: Roll another perception check for me.

MERCER: Oh, boy. Well. Eighteen.

JAS: You look outside and there’s no movement. There’s just, you hear the wind whistle through the trees gently, their ever-golden and red color. And then you look out on the street, and down the street just a ways you notice a carriage. And the carriage isn’t moving. In fact, you look, and it looks like both of the horses that drew this carriage are asleep. How do horses sleep?

WINK and NORTH: They sleep standing up.

JAS: I don’t know how - never mind.

WINK: That was a question for the horse girl of the group, excuse you.

JAS: Horse bitch.

MARS: Wink is a fucking horse nerd confirmed.

WINK: I’m not a girl, but I am a horse girl. Send tweet.

JAS: It do be like that. You think that - the horses are standing so still that you think they might be asleep. And that’s what you see out the window.

MERCER: Caelum is going to stare for a second, nod, and turn back to do what he was doing.

JAS: Just. Yup. Great.

WINK: I love them, your honor.

JAS: Cire, are you doing anything interesting in your morning, after you notice that, or are you just going about your business like, “Whatever” ?

MAR: I think kind of over the course of Cire getting her shit together, she would have - you said I noticed that the second floor is the only place there’s sound?

JAS: Yeah, it seems like it’s all around you a little bit, but you don’t hear sounds from downstairs, you don’t hear sounds from out on the street.

MAR: I would just kind of poke my head out into the hallway and see what I see.

JAS: You look out and you see all the doors are still shut, but you can hear, definitely, there are people doing their business in the morning.

MAR: Okay.

JAS: That’s what you see on this floor.

MAR: Okay. I think I would probably go down to the first floor and see what’s going on down there, like, is there anyone there?

JAS: So yeah, you make your way downstairs and there is no one there.

MAR: There’s just no one?

JAS: There’s just no one. Like this is a time that the tavern should be open. We’re approaching nine a.m., and this is a tavern that serves breakfast and is an inn and all of that. There should be people. There should be a cook, or somebody to attend, but there’s no one there.

WINK: Hesperis is still dead to the world.

JAS: Great.

WINK: She’s snoozing.

JAS: Then you hear faint snoring from Hesperis’ room.

WINK: She does not snore!

JAS: It’s a dainty snore. Wink just rolled their eyes at me so hard.

WINK: It kind of gave me a headache.

MAR: I would like to use my Divine Sense.

JAS: Okay, what does that do?

MAR: I can sense anything affected by the hallow spell or know the location of any celestial, fiend, or undead within 60 ft, but they can’t be behind total cover.

JAS: There’s nothing here, you don’t sense anything. Mars, you had a thought?

MARS: I was just gonna ask what time - I know you said it was morning, but is it early morning or kind of like late morning?

JAS: Like nine-ish.

MARS: Okay.

JAS: But the sun has undeniably come through the windows. Almost aggressively through the windows. So I mean you might still be sleeping, but. Or did Sylacrum stay up all night.

MARS: This bird sleeps at noon.

JAS: Good, that’s a healthy sleep schedule.

MAR: Like player, like character.

JAS: Yeah, literally. Art imitates life, I guess.

WINK: I thought it was… never mind.

JAS: It works either way. I don’t know.

MAR: Art imitates life imitates art.

JAS: Exactly! That! So yeah, that’s what’s going on. There is nobody.

MAR: Okay?

JAS: And y’all are welcome to come downstairs at whatever point you feel like your character would come down. Like it’s nine-o-clock ish.

MERCER: At this point Caelum is probably already heading down the stairs.

NORTH: I’d be dressed and ready at this point.

JAS: Excellent. So y’all head downstairs and see Cire standing in an empty tavern.

NORTH: Sorry, who’s all downstairs?

JAS: We have, there is this strange winged person, another strange winged person, and a really beefy elf.

MAR: An accurate description.

JAS: Just a really freakin’ beefy elf.

WINK: Picture every lesbian that’s ever worked at Home Depot. That’s this elf.

[PLAYERS LAUGHING]

WINK: That doesn’t have to get left in there.

JAS: It should though. Alright, interact.

MERCER: Caelum is about a foot taller, at least, than both of these folks, so he kind of just looks down. Um, hallo? It’s… I feel like there should be more people here.

MAR: There definitely should be.

NORTH: It is a bit empty.

MERCER: I don’t spend quite enough time in taverns compared to the average person, so I’m not sure if this is really have mornings start?

MAR: There should at least be someone working here. I don’t know where they’d be though.

NORTH: It is a bit strange. Did you notice anything?

MERCER: I saw something that might have been odd outside the window. There was a carriage somewhere down the street. It looks like the horses were sleeping, almost. They were very still. I don’t know. Either of you notice anything?

NORTH: I just came down.

MAR: I haven’t heard anything except from the second floor of the tavern. I mean, I didn’t - I didn’t hear anything odd, just people getting ready and-  

WINK: Speaking of hearing things from the second floor of the tavern, Hesperis is awake now.

JAS: Okay.

WINK: Yeah, Hesperis is very loudly singing as she gets ready for her day.

JAS: [LAUGHTER]

WINK: So, so a little bit of context: Hesperis is in a metal band back home in spring where she comes from. So she’s not like “La la la” singing, no, she’s, like, I can’t even make the noises that are coming out of her right now. And then, when she finally like comes down the stairs, you’re like, “Those sounds are coming out of that person? That person who looks like a fucked up fairy? Huh?” But yeah, she sounds like a grown man, just screaming, but she thinks this is very normal and thinks nothing of it. And so she just comes downstairs and she sees you and she kind of stops short and says:

WINK:  It’s a good morning, isn’t it?

MAR: Hi, it’s an odd morning.

MERCER: It’s certainly a morning.

WINK: Well, what is odd about it?

MAR: No one but us is down here. The tavern should be open and there should be a cook, someone serving, people eating?

WINK: What time is it?

NORTH: I think it’s around 9:00.

MAR: Yeah, something like that.

WINK: Earlier than I’m usually up.

NORTH: Well, maybe we should look for somebody.

WINK: Like who?

MAR: But where would we look?

NORTH: I wouldn’t want to go into anyone’s quarters, but… we should at least find a worker.

JAS: Roll a perception check first, and then we will see. We will go from there.

WINK: That’s an eleven, her perception is plus four, so that’s a 15 for perception.

JAS: You walk to go to the kitchen and there’s like a big bar, right? Like a big, long wooden bar. And you walk to go into the kitchen. And then you see it out of the corner of your eye. There is the barkeep. It is a human woman. She is a little bit on the shorter end, with long red hair that’s tied up in an intricate knot, and last night she looked very put together. She has like a little like apron and all that, a little bandana on to keep her hair out of her face, but currently she has passed out on the floor.

WINK: Oh, big mood. Hesperis is going to bend down and, like try to shake her and wake her up like… Hello ma’am, you are not doing your job.

JAS: Yeah, so you go to shake her and you can tell. Like okay, first off, she’s breathing, good, good, great, but she does not rouse.

MAR: Does Cire hear Hesperis trying to…?

JAS: Yes, it is not, it’s not a particularly large Tavern.

WINK: Hesperis is not particularly quiet.

MAR: So I suppose Cire would just sort of shout in the direction of the kitchen, like, “did you find someone?”

WINK: Yeah, the barkeep from last night! She’s just passed out on the floor in here, like, she had a job to do. Why aren’t you doing your job ma’am?

NORTH: Didn’t you mention the horses were asleep outside?

MERCER: Yes, it seems that they were. Is she unconscious or sleeping ‘cause they are two very different things.

WINK: Her eyes are closed. She is breathing. She will not wake up when I shake her, so draw your conclusions from that.

MERCER: Oh, that sounds like passed out.

WINK: Okay, then she is passed out, which is what I said.

MERCER: Okay… I’m sorry.

WINK: Oh, no need to apologize!

NORTH: Valus has a bit of an - I don’t know if inquisition is the right word, but a funny feeling about what’s going on. I’d like to use detect magic.

JAS: Yeah. I’m going to have you go ahead and roll a spellcasting check. So for you, that’s going to be a d20 plus intelligence plus proficiency.

NORTH: Okay.

WINK: Could, well no - Oh dear, poor Valus.

NORTH: Okay, so the D20 plus.

JAS: Plus your intelligence plus proficiency, wizard.

NORTH: Well, uh, so that’s that’s either going to… I think that’s an eleven.

MAR: That’s an 11 yeah.

JAS: Okay, what was it on the die?

MAR: It was a six.

NORTH: It was a six on the die.

MAR: Plus five for intelligence and proficiency.

JAS: Yes, um. Okay. With an eleven, you’re like: Hey, wait a minute, because, you know this magic. You’d know it anywhere. There’s enchantment magic happening. You can feel it just sweeping through this place. And you can kinda just feel it on this first floor where y’all are all located. Minus Sylacrum, who’s still in fucking bed, I guess.

MARS: I’ve been trying to come downstairs.

JAS: Oh, okay, so at this point Sylacrum is coming downstairs, but you see enchantment magic, you can’t tell what it is, but it’s enchantment.

NORTH: Okay. So it looks like there’s some sort of enchantment. I can’t really make out what it is, but.

MARS: Uh, sorry, what’s this about magic? Also, who are you people and where is everybody else?

NORTH: All I can give you right now is that I’m Dr. Valus Amadon. We’re somewhat trying to figure out where everyone is.

MARS: Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Amadon? Like from Winter?

NORTH: Yes.

MARS: Do you not remember? I deliver shit to your class? All the time.

NORTH: Really?

MARS: Yes, I’m Sylacrum, you know - and he kind of like stretches out his wings. And I left this part out just because not everybody, not everybody in the room knows what the wing looks like.

But if you’ve seen Sylacrum’s wings before, they’re easily recognizable, so it’s like his his left wing normal looking and his right wing is just a combination of dull clockwork gold medal, and he’s just kind of like, (as Sylacrum) I mean, how many people do you know that have…?

NORTH: Oh yes, yes. I’ve actually, I’ve been, I’ve been wanting to get the time to ask you about how your wing works, if you don’t - But this seems a bit more important. I deeply apologize.

MARS: It’s fine, I just… what is going on?

MAR: We don’t know.

MERCER: Yeah, we came down here and she… Caelum vaguely gestures to Hesperis. She found a woman passed out behind the bar.

WINK: Yes, and she is not doing her job - and can Hesperis walk into the kitchen and see if she can find something that’s like as close to a refrigerator as she can see.

JAS: Roll an investigation check.

WINK: She’s hungy! That’s a 17 investigation, plus four. That’s a 21.

JAS: Yeah, you find a big ass ice chest. Like you can see it is enchanted, just a little bit, to keep it perpetually cold, but you find this big ice chest, and you open it up and there’s some assorted produce in there and then some assorted meats and things. None of it looks particularly fresh, obviously, it’s frozen, but like it’s tavern food.

WINK: Yeah, she’s going to go back out there.

JAS: Great.

NORTH: To give you a basic rundown: she’s asleep - pointing at the bartender on the ground and we’ve got somewhat of a reason, from what he’s seen that others are as well and from what I can find, my best guess is some type of ground level sleep enchantment, I can’t really tell at the moment.

MAR: Oh, and for what it’s worth, there aren’t any celestials, fiends or undead within 60 feet of me.

MARS: Oh, you’re a paladin?

MAR: Yes.

MARS: Huh. It’s just, the vibes didn’t fit. I just wouldn’t picture that.

MAR: What’s that supposed to mean?

MARS: No, I just, I don’t, I’m not - I’m going to be quiet now.

MAR: I’m sorry, what about the sword and the axe didn’t say paladin?

MARS: You’re very, you’re very tall person and I -

MAR: I’m not that much taller than you.

WINK: Birdbrain.

MAR: Does Hesperis say that?

MERCER: For the sake of my sanity, can everyone tell me their names, perhaps? I would rather not refer to you as bird, wizard, paladin, ethereal tree moose.

WINK: I’m sorry, that’s going in my notes.

MAR: Mine, too.

JAS: That’s my gender, “ethereal tree moose.”

NORTH: As I’ve said before, I’m Dr. Valus Amadon. Most people just call me Valus or Val.

MAR: My name’s Cire.

MERCER: Okay, um my name is Caelum.

MARS: Uh, I’m Sylacrum. I just go by Crum.

MERCER: I will call you Sylacrum.

WINK: I’m Hesperis. Or Hes, doesn’t really matter.

MERCER: Okay.

WINK: But I am a woman.

MERCER: I can see that, yes.

WINK: Okay, where I come from, it’s not exactly obvious.

MERCER: I am not sure how it would not be obvious, but okay.

WINK: Okay. This is weird, now, isn’t it?

MAR: Slightly.

MERCER: It’s a little.

MAR: Anyway. Yes, I’m a paladin. And no, I didn’t see anything with my divine sense.

NORTH: Well, I’m glad you don’t have to dig yourself into that anymore, but I think we should stick to figuring out what’s going on because something is not right.

MERCER: I don’t know if we’re going to find many answers here.

MAR: I think it would be best to go further out into town, maybe? You all seem at least like you can take care of yourselves.

NORTH: I hope so coming this far.

WINK: (inaudible)

MAR: I meant like if we got into a dangerous situation.

WINK: What kind of dangerous situation could you possibly have here?

MAR: I don’t - the kind of dangerous situation that leads to horses and bartenders being randomly asleep when they’re not supposed to be.

WINK: You have a point. I did not think of that. It’s very early, I’m tired.

MERCER: This is not something that happens all the time in autumn.

MAR: I would hope not.

MERCER: But I have not been here in a while, so I cannot speak for this particular town.

MAR: I haven’t been in this town for very long, but I’ve been in Autumn for a while and I don’t think this is normal.

MERCER: No.

NORTH: It’s my first time, but if your lovely vocals didn’t wake anyone then there sure seems to be a problem.

WINK: Thank you, I haven’t had a chance to sing since I’ve left spring. It’s been very nice to have like such open space and the room has great acoustics.

JAS: All of you roll history checks for me. Not Hesperis, sorry.

NORTH: Actually, I thought she could see nothing.

WINK: Good, that was a nat one.

MAR: That’s a… that’s a whole eight, I think.

JAS: Oh, Jesus Christ.

NORTH: That’s a 15.

MAR: Oh no, that’s a 7. I have a zero to history.

JAS: And Sylacrum?

MARS: That’s a dirty 20.

JAS: All right, so Sylacrum and Valus. The other two, you’re like ah yes, this checks out. Sylacrum and Valus, you’re like, oh. I’ve never met anyone from spring. Ever. And like, you don’t - both of you are pretty well-learned, but you’ve never met someone from spring, which it’s like it’s like 1/6 of the world, so like you’d think you would come across it but you just…

NORTH: Do you not… do people from spring not travel much?

WINK: Oh well, it’s very difficult to get in and out. We’ve become very isolated.

NORTH: Isolated? Why is that, if you don’t mind me asking?

WINK: Oh, lots of reasons. People mostly send their criminals there and so not many of us are allowed to leave, even though it’s usually our parents or grandparents or generations before us. Not me in particular because Dryadfolk, but. But they they don’t… they don’t like it when people they perceive as bad are let loose in the world, even if we have actually done nothing wrong ourselves so.

NORTH: How did you get out?

WINK: I just I I had the right papers and I knew the right people and… I knew how to take care of myself.

NORTH: I’m glad you made it. I’d like to ask more later once we figure all this out.

WINK: Sure! I’d be happy to answer any of your questions.

NORTH: I think we should probably head out for now. Move around but I don’t know if it would be better to split up or stay together.

WINK: Would we be coming back here or should I like… grab my things?

NORTH: I think you should grab everything. I’ve got everything.

MAR: I think we should be prepared for the possibility…

NORTH: At least everything we need.

MAR: I think we should be prepared for the possibility that we don’t have to come back here.

WINK: I don’t carry anything I don’t need. Everything I carry has a purpose.

NORTH: You’re efficient, then.

MARS: And Sylacrum just kind of goes well, I’ll go get my things then and then just kind of goes up to grab all of their stuff.

JAS: Cool. You all gather - take a moment to gather your things and then meet all up back downstairs. And still no sign of anyone else.

WINK:Intentionally in the same style that Cire has her sword and axe.

JAS: Yeah, I think it’s a greatsword of greataxe. Mar?

MAR: Yes.

WINK: Hesperis has her bass guitar and her iron pot strapped to her back, kind of in a mimicry, but like in in an imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, kind of way.  

MARS: I think when Sylacrum comes back down, he’s wearing his heavy splint armor, so it kind of essentially looks like he’s wearing fucking Kevlar. And kind of has a very tactile backpack just on his back with a big old lance to one side and crossbow bolts on the other.

JAS: Sylacrum clinks all the way downstairs.

MAR: Cire’s been casually in her chainmail this entire time.

JAS: As one does. Hey, it’s autumn, you never know.

MERCER: While the others are gathering their things - Caelum already has everything that he brought with him, but he removes his backpack, fluffs out his wings, and then slowly and very awkwardly puts the backpack back on and tucks his wings around it so that it’s acting as sort of a shield.

JAS: Okay, yeah.

MERCER: He has a roughly 8 foot tall quarterstaff in his hand.

JAS: Big ass staff.

MERCER: Big ass staff that the top foot of it is wrapped with different colors of leather and string and ribbon.

JAS: Nice, nice.

WINK: Your staff is very pretty.

MERCER: Thank you.

WINK: That’s all.

JAS: Yeah, so you all gather back down in the tavern and do you go outside from there, I take it? Yeah. So you all walk outside, and sure enough there is nobody on the streets. Those who are a little bit more perceptive hear distant sounds of maybe somebody snoring, just softly, but then you see, Caelum, you see that that carriage is in the same spot.

MERCER: Well, that hasn’t moved at all. I don’t know anything about magic, so I have no idea what to do in this particular situation.

NORTH: I’m not entirely versed on how to wake someone from this, but… I’m sure if I could find the source, we could do something about it.

[THEME MUSIC]

JAS: Hey its Jas, thank you so much for listening to the first ever episode of Next In The Order! I just wanted to come in here to do a few announcements! Eventually, we hope to use this spot as an ad break so we can earn some of that sweet sweet moolah, but for now, Im just going to go over a few important things! Firstly, it’s important to note we play with a lot of homebrew rules over here! You’ve already been introduced to my homebrewed race, the Dryadfolk, obviously my homebrew world, Citarya, and soon you’ll see my absolute favorite homebrewed cantrip, which is called “Hug.” Also, it’s worth mentioning that we have some homebrewed subclasses and a few other rules that you’ll see sprinkled in in due time! If you don’t like how I made them or how I run my table, that’s totally cool, you do you, boo, but over here, that’s how I’m doing things! So, do it how you wanna and I’ll do it how I wanna, you know? You feel?

JAS: Other important announcements, we will be posting weekly! Every Tuesday morning, there will be new episodes so keep an eye out for whatever podcatcher you prefer! Spotify, Apple Podcasts, the works. We also have a website! You can visit nextintheorder.com to see additional information about the podcast, the cast, view transcripts, and more! Right now, it’s fairly simple, but it will continue to be updated as we make new content. We are also on social media! You can find us @nextintheorder on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and at nextintheorder pod on Tumblr, because this is the timeline God abandoned. If you want to talk about the show, be sure to use the NITO hashtag that’s #NITO. We really appreciate you talking about the show and maybe if you like it, tell a friend? Please? It would be very nice of you.

JAS: Finally, I just want to say a few quick thank you’s. First and foremost to the cast for helping me make my dream project a reality. I’m really glad that I get to DM and create with you, and I’m really excited to see where this journey takes us. I also want to give a very very special thanks to Magic Sword for the use of their song Battlefield (Dance With the Dead Remix) as the theme song for our show. It’s an absolutely killer tune and you should go check out all of their music on whatever service you use. Like, it’s bomb, it gives video game music - so good, check it out!

JAS: Alright I think that’s everything from me, I’ll let you get back into that good good content! Bye for now!

[THEME MUSIC]

WINK: Are any of you from here?

MERCER: Um, I’m from Autumn, not this particular area though

WINK: Is there anywhere I could hook up my bass?

MERCER: The only place in Autumn that has electricity is Ye Olde Beaver Town, and that’s hours from here. It’s the only place around here from Winter.

WINK: Fuck!

MARS: Well, actually, we don’t know where to start looking, so why don’t we just start somewhere high and just see as much as we can see?

NORTH: I kinda like, stretch my wings out and then give them a flutter and then say “Well, dibs” and shoot up as high as I can, as quick as I can and try to make a perception.

JAS: Yeah roll a perception check, with advantage because this is tasty.

MERCER: Caelum will join.

JAS: Cool.

MERCER: In the air.

NORTH: Please!

JAS: You have advantage.

NORTH: Please!

MERCER: You have advantage.

[EVERYONE LAUGHS]

MERCER: Can I also make a perception check?

JAS: Yes, you can make a perception check.

NORTH: A five and a three!

MERCER: My dice don’t like you. That is a fifteen.

JAS: Kay!

MERCER: Or do I also roll with advantage?

JAS: Fifteen will do it. So you don’t see anybody like, at first you like don’t see anybody else moving. And then, like two streets over from where you are, conveniently, you see somebody, you see, it’s hard to make out the details of this person, but they are like in a Autumnal garb, and like, walking back and forth, like looking around, and you can see their hands go to cast some kind of spell.

MERCER: Caelum is going to like, fly over and kind of tug Valus to a spot where he can see. “I don’t know what that is, but it looks like that person is casting some sort of magic?”

NORTH: Well it’s the best lead we have so far so if you wanna check it out, I can lack somewhat far behind, I’m not very good with most people.

JAS: You see the person looks up at you and you see, like it’s still hard to make out the details, because of like the sun and the lighting, but they look up at you and wave frantically.

MERCER: Yeet.

JAS: Yeet. You’re just like, so, are you also yeeting or like what are you up to?

NORTH: I’m like kinda slowly drifting down to make sure

JAS: You’re just leaving the rest of the group that you’ve met up with and you’re just *singing* deh neh neh. Alright like

MAR: You’re one of the ones that’s getting nae-naed

MERCER: I don’t know these people

MAR: (Inaudible)

JAS: Fair enough

NORTH: I, I feel like

WINK: They’re squishy

NORTH: They should’ve been watching. When I get grabbed and pointed somewhere, they should have followed me.

JAS: You all see them like, I feel like y’all are all watching them because like what else are you gonna do? And you see that whole exchange happen and them dart over like two streets over.

MAR: Yeah, I’d follow to wherever my best estimation of

WINK: I follow the pretty, beefy elf.

JAS: Fair enough, Sylacrum, what are you up to?

MARS: Sylacrum’s just gonna fucking follow because what else is there?

JAS: Great, fair enough. So you all follow and you see an elf, and you see they are fairly pale with a shock of white hair and in the morning sun, you see it glints for a moment, just with a flash of color. And they have a staff at their side and their hair is pulled back into, like, a loose bun, and their eyes widen as they see you. And they say “Hello!”

MERCER: Hello.

JAS: You are the first person I’ve seen awake.

MERCER: There are five of us.

JAS: And they kind of like grab their staff and sink into it for a moment. Okay, thank goodness, I don’t know what happened last night, but, and they gesture and you see down the street there are several people just fully passed out, like

MERCER: Well that’s odd.

JAS: Incredibly

NORTH: Where did you stay last night?

JAS: I stayed at my house, I live here in Aurora, just down that way.

NORTH: Does your house have two stories?

JAS: No, it’s humble, we just have the one.

WINK: Are the rest of us caught up yet?

JAS: Like at this moment? Like I don;t know at how brisk of a pace y’all are going

WINK: Hesperis got long ass legs

JAS: Alright

WINK: And she walks at a very homosexual pace.

JAS: Y’all are trucking along, and like, so y’all power walk in there right around this moment I would say.

WINK: Okay

JAS: You see this person, as I described, an elf, really pale skin, with white hair pulled up in a loose bun with flashes of color.

WINK: Oh, Cire, do you know them?

JAS: They make eye contact with you. Oh, um, hello.

MAR: Hi

JAS: Hi, my name is Rowena, but they look noticeably relieved to have seen you.

MAR: Do they look like me or a different type of elf?

JAS: They got that rainbow moonstone in their hair.

MAR: Okay

JAS: Yeah, like you know, like you clock immediately

MAR: I clock another moon elf of Halluc

JAS: Like the rest of you, you’re like hmm, I don’t know, like, because that’s like not something you’re particularly accustomed to, but you immediately clock another moon elf of Halluc. And in turn, they immediately clock you.

MAR: Right

JAS: Like it is a moment of “Ah yes”

MAR: Another one of them

JAS: Yes, exactly

WINK: Wait so, we are awake and you are awake, but you did not come from the same place as us so why are you awake? That is my question.

JAS: I don’t know, I just-

WINK: What is fucky-wucky with you that you were not affected by the thing that affected everybody but us but you are not us but you are not affected so what is fucked up?

JAS: What is fucky-wucky with you?

WINK: Everything, darling, everything.

JAS: I don’t know, I just, I did my normal nightly routine and then just.

MAR: Let’s back up a moment.

JAS: Okay

MAR: Were you with anyone last night?

JAS: Oh, no, I was just in my home, I live just down the street, I told them already. And I just, I live by myself, I did my normal thing and came out of my trance this morning and everything was quiet.

MAR: Right

WINK: Oh, then you didn’t hear me singing, okay. The acoustics were not as good as I thought.

JAS: Well, where were you staying?

WINK: The Ink Dipped Quill, yeah!

JAS: Darling, three blocks over?

WINK: I’m very loud.

CIRE: (inaudible) But you didn’t hear Hesperis singing?

JAS: No, I didn’t.

MAR: Okay. Well, that wasn’t

JAS: I’d love to hear you sing sometime.

NORTH: It is quite lovely.

MAR: It wasn’t what woke me either. I was awake before, and I suppose I was never really asleep.

JAS: Well it’s odd for us

MAR: Yeah, exactly

MERCER: Can elves be affected by sleeping magic?

NORTH: I don’t think so

JAS: Typically no

MAR: No, no we can’t!

JAS: Yes, it would be incredibly odd, but

MAR: I’ve never had it affect me, have you?

JAS: No, but I don’t know

WINK: Okay so that’s what’s fucky-wucky

JAS: It’s a weird place

MAR: Is that just a phrase with you?

WINK: Oh, it’s everywhere in Spring.

NORTH: Fucky-wucky’s everywhere in Spring?

WINK: Yeah

MARS: People say that-

MAR: The phrase or? Okay, are things fucky-wucky in Spring or do people use the phrase fucky-wucky in Spring?

NORTH: I feel like if things are fucky-wucky in Spring, people use the phrase fucky-wucky in Spring.

MARS: Sylacrum just kinda goes.. We’ll just come back to all of.. whatever that is

WINK: Okay

NORTH: I had a bit of a running theory but if you weren’t on the second floor it wouldn’t make any sense. I thought it might be some sort of ground-level mist sleep spell, I’m not sure, I didn’t get a great look but if you weren’t high enough

JAS: No, I was on the first floor.

MAR: If it was a sleep spell, but there are other elves?

NORTH: Yeah, but you are an-

MAR: Are there other elves that were affected?

JAS: I mean, I haven’t seen an elf in particular, but, I mean, there’s a couple of elves I know in town.

MAR: Do you know where they live?

JAS: Yeah, i could take you to them, maybe, you look like you have a thought

WINK: There was a weird smoke that came into my room last night while I was sleeping. Did you have a weird smoke in your room?

JAS: I burned my incense

WINK: Did you have a weird smoke in your room?

NORTH: I did, it had a very nice smell that I could tell

WINK: Did you have a weird smoke?

MERCER: There was a little

WINK: Did you have a weird smoke?

MARS: There was a lot of smoke in my room last night

WINK: Okay well you smell like the smoke that was in your room last night. Was there smoke in your room last night?

MAR: Yes, from the incense I burned.

WINK: Okay so you burned incense on our floor and we all had smoke in our room, and you burned incense in your house and you’re awake and we’re awake, and so

NORTH: Is your incense special?

MAR: What incense did you burn?

JAS: Well, I just burned it in honor of Halluc. It’s lavender, it’s not anything particularly special but it is what I use in my rituals for Halluc. Everyone except for Cire roll a religion check

MERCER: Natural one

NORTH: That is a twenty-one

WINK: That’s a ten

MARS: That’s a sixteen

JAS: Okay, on a twenty-one and a sixteen, and what’d you get?

MERCER: Natural one

JAS: Nope okay, that’s a failure, and then a ten, right?

WINK: Yeah

JAS: Okay, so, on our twenty-one and sixteen for Valus and Sylacrum, Cire already knows this, this is Cire’s whole thing.

MAR: This is Cire lore

JAS: Yeah, this is Cire lore. So you would know, most of you would, well, I don’t think Hesperis would, but you would have a passing knowledge of Halluc as a concept, like you know, you’ve heard the name. But you two, you would know that Halluc is one of the moon gods, there are three gods and then a god that corresponds with each of the moons, so three moon gods. There is Halluc, who each of you two would know as the god of dreams and sleep, and like it’s very wistful. He’s kind of softer, that kind of vibe, just kind of go with the flow. There is Romna, who is his opposite basically. She is a goddess of war, specifically in a more strategical way and just general badassery for the most part. She is known as the Sky’s Bulwark. A bulwark is like a layer of defense.

WINK: Thank you for explaining that, I am very stupid.

JAS: Yes, it’s like a shield layer of defense for something. So she’s known as the Sky’s Bulwark. And then there is Levion, and you don’t really know much. Most people don’t know a lot about Levion, but Halluc, the one that you need to know, is the god of dreams and sleep and that kind of thing.

NORTH: Two questions real quick, one’s aesthetic and one’s. So the moons, are they together in the sky or are they kinda spread out?

JAS: No, so they run three different patterns. So Levion, no not Levion, Romna and Halluc’s moons run opposite of each other in the sky, they follow opposite patterns. So like, they like are on opposite ends of the sky at either time, right. But then Levion has a fairly short, fairly long cycle that comes into the sky for very short periods of time, so that moon isn’t in the sky for very often. Right now, all three moons are in the sky. Well, not right now it’s morning, but last night all three moons were in the sky. It’s an uncommon occurrence but not quite rare.

NORTH: So Halluc is kinda like Hypnos?

JAS: Yeah

NORTH: Okay, how do you spell Halluc?

JAS: H-A-L-L-U-C

MAR: I hate to backtrack this far, but

JAS: Yes, backtrack

MAR: But when this other elf mentioned the incense, Cire would have said “Well mine’s not lavender, it’s sandalwood and rose. I’ve got a bit of a complicated situation”

JAS: Yeah, Rowena gives you like the most quizzical look of like “Hmm” like they’re like alright, interesting

MAR: Incense is part of my nightly ritual, but it’s not actually in Halluc’s honor

JAS: Oh, interesting, who do you..?

MAR: I offer dreams to Halluc, but the incense is an offering to Romna.

JAS: And then I think their eyes find your symbol of Levion that you have on, which is, it’s looks like one hand slapping another, almost, it’s very strange, it is an odd symbol. And you’ve got that on you, and I think you watch the gears turn in their head as they look. Right okay..

MAR: They have clocked me as a paladin of Levion

JAS: Yes, and they are confused, but. Maybe that’s not the connection, I don’t know. It’s the best we’ve got at this point.

MAR: It’s a religious incense for a moon god, and we’re both elves of Halluc

JAS: Yes, might have something to do with it then, and if that’s the binding tie between all of you lot, other than just being a strange lot, there’s not much else

WINK; Oh, thank you

JAS: And like, we also see as like, they look at you, they’re like, hmm dryadfolk, hmm interesting

WINK: That interesting sounded

JAS: No, not bad interesting, no they didn’t say that out loud. It’s just like a “Oh, that’s what they look like”

MAR: So, are any of the elves you know also elves of Halluc

JAS: No, unfortunately, I kind of left them, and they like tuck their hair behind their ear nervously and, well, I know a couple of sun elves, maybe, they’re brothers

MAR: Well, we could go see if they’re awake

JAS: Yes, um, right this way, and they start to take you down the cobbled streets, and Hesperis did you have a thought or?

WINK: I am just extremely, I’m not going to voice it yet, but I’m extremely curious about why they left.

JAS: Okay

WINK: As someone who has also left their homelands, why did they leave theirs? So I’m just going to muse away on that.

JAS: Alright, you muse away over there!

WINK: I will

JAS: Okay great!

MAR: What kind of like demographic spread, like, in terms of like, moon elves of Halluc, are they all kind of where Cire is from?

JAS: There’s a few different patches of them, right? They all live along the trajectory, under Halluc’s light. Like it runs a specific path so they’re all directly under it, but that path does include places in, um, like the moon can be seen anywhere, but this specific trajectory to be under it is in Autumn, Winter, Summer, and Spring, so your typical seasons. There is places along in there, with the path it takes, and the inner wheel, but that’s a little bit different. But yeah, so, like looking at this person you can probably tell that they’re from Autumn, just like the way that they, like the garb that they wear and also like the way that they carry themselves, you can see the cultural differences, and like, this is, they’re from Autumn. And obviously they live in their house here. So we’re walking, are we walking and talking or just walking?

MARS: I feel like Sylacrum would kind of catch up to Valus a little bit and just kind of go “Um, Professor, I do have a question for you?”

NORTH: I will do whatever I can to answer

MARS: Why are you here?

NORTH: That is a bit connected to my research. I started my class as a way to not only push a bit of responsibility onto  my students to think about the spells they use and how they affect people, but it also allowed me the room to, I guess, explore my own personal wants and needs. The school actually does not know I’m here, so please don’t tell them.

MARS: As long as you don’t because I might have skipped a few classes.

NORTH: Tell you what, keep your mouth shut and I will add a letter grade.

MARS: I’m not in any one of your clases

NORTH: Welp, there goes my leverage.

MAR: How do you not know the people that are in your class?

NORTH: It’s a bit difficult to keep up with sometimes

MAR: How big are your classes?

NORTH: Between 150-200

MAR: Okay, fair

NORTH: It’s a lot easier to keep up with the people that are actually trying to learn versus people that only show up when they want to.

WINK: Okay but that is big bird with metal wing

MARS: For real

WINK: So like, wouldn’t you know if he was in one of your classes? He?

MARS: Yes he

WINK: Wouldn’t you notice if he was in one of your classes?

NORTH: I’m very focused on my teaching. And my research. I hardly know what time of day it is sometimes.

WINK: But the purpose of a teacher is to impart knowledge onto the students so wouldn’t your focus be your students?

NORTH: It is my students, I love my students

WINK: But you do not know them?

MERCER: But you do not recognize one of your students

MAR: Not one of their students, right?

MARS: And Sylacrum just-

MAR: You’re not in any of their-

NORTH: Same institution

MAR: Same institution, not in any of their classes

MARS: Same institution, not any classes, also, and Sylacrum just kinda like sticks his hand out and kinda lifts his hand up and lifts his prosthetic up. Also.. it’s detachable.

WINK: Okay well then you would be a one-winged whatever you are

MARS: Well yeah but like, and he kinda like wraps his one wing around himself, I usually look like this. Especially with how early his classes are.

MERCER: I’m confused, did you take one of his courses before or not?

MARS: I signed up for one. Why are you teaching at seven in the morning?

NORTH: I like to get an early start, it’s a nice cool breeze in the morning to fly over.

WINK: (Inaudible)

MERCER: You are from Winter, it’s cold there all the time, is it not?

NORTH: Yeah, it is

MERCER: Okay

NORTH: I like being outside, it’s to get there before the sun’s really up

MAR: It’s not that bad if you’re used to it

MERCER: I would not be, I’ve been to Winter a total of once and I was seven

MAR: I was there from the ages of about zero to eighty

WINK: This is my first time out of Spring!

MERCER: I spend most of my time in the Inner Wheel, so

WINK: Huh, I’ve never been there before

MERCER: It’s certainly a place

MAR: It’s certainly a place

JAS: I’ve never been out of Autumn, I just um, I was born here

MERCER: DM question, would I know where the monks are? Like what part of the wheel they’re in?

JAS: Roll a history check with advantage

MERCER: Goddamnit! Okay, nineteen

JAS: Okay nineteen, okay you would know that they are um, they are going between Endless Night and Winter. So they’re in that ballpark

MERCER: The weird places

JAS: Yes, some weird places, but, ya know, that’s Citarya, everywhere’s weird

MERCER: Well yes

JAS: Well, we’re here, and Rowena walks up to the door and gives it a hearty knock. Go for it! And you wait, do that awkward waiting by the door.

WINK: Well, this is weird

JAS: And there’s no response. And knock again. Castor? Pollux? I, are you home? Nothing.

MAR: Can I? If I know the name and general location of the creature I would like to contact, would I be able to cast message if I was close enough?

JAS: Yeah!

MAR: Okay, can I try and send a message to Castor?

JAS: Yeah, try to send a message

MAR: And just kind of.. Hello, I’m here with a friend of yours. We’re just trying to figure out if anyone else is awake.

JAS: There is no response

NORTH: I was gonna ask, can you use message to somebody who is unconscious?

MAR: You can try but (inaudible)

JAS: You can try but they’re not gonna be able to respond, or process it. May result in some fucked up little dreams, I don’t know. It’s like when you have an alarm clock in your dream, I’d imagine that’s what it’s like.

NORTH: We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty

JAS: Can you imagine that in your dreams? Just hello, we’ve been trying to reach you considering your car’s extended warranty

MERCER: I feel like that’s a prank in Winter that people pull

WINK: No I feel like it’s an actual thing

JAS: It is an actual, nope that’s canon now. Like in your dreams, in your dreams a squirrel will just turn to you and be like we;ve been trying to reach you concerning your car’s extended warranty and your like i am eight.

MAR: Dream spam calls?

JAS: Dream spam calls.

WINK: Thanks I hate it.

JAS: It’s terrible

WINK: Not as bad as the pear phone

JAS: Uh we’ll get to that

MAR: We’re not gonna talk about the pear phone!

JAS: You insist upon putting cursed things into my world. Wink is making evil genius hands, there is no other way to describe it, it’s giving plotting, it’s, anyway, but yeah no, it does not register, you do not get a response back from Castor.

NORTH: Is there, this is kind of a DM question, is there, obviously you can tell when it’s around, but is there a way to tell if it’s stronger in one point or weaker in another point?

JAS: So I do allow that, that is something that I actually do allow, but that’s why I have you make the check to see how well you detect magic, right? So like in the written text of the spell it would just be like, there is magic here, it is this kind! Generally, if you roll well, I will give you like, it is this kind plus like it’s stronger here or you can tell a little bit more definitively what it is. But you’re welcome to cast it again and see what you can find.

NORTH: I wanna try and cast it and see if there’s any way to trail it or see if there’s any way to differentiate

JAS: Yeah, so you can go ahead and cast it and go ahead and roll a spellcasting check

MERCER: Do you want a different d20?

NORTH: I want a different d20! This is my fourth 3

MERCER: Try Percival

NORTH: Okay, okay okay, this one’s quite heavy

MAR: Welp, not that one!

MERCER: Percival does not like you!

NORTH: Nah, I’ll just, I’ll just take it at this point

JAS: What was that second roll, because that’s the one we’re going with?

NORTH: It was a one

MAR: Would you like to see if that one will roll any better for you?

JAS: You start to like, you go do the spell and it just like, it lights up like there’s magic dog, but uh, you think it’s probably still the same enchantment magic as before, but honestly you don’t know

NORTH: The spell is just like, yes

JAS: I think you’ve got other things going in your mind and it just like nah.

MARS: Does Sylacrum see Valus try to do this?

JAS: Yeah, there’s somatic, there’s verbal and somatic components.

MARS: And Sylacrum’s just gonna go Professor, did you just try to cast detect magic?

NORTH: Yes, we don’t always do well, things are allowed to go wrong.

MARS: I mean I

NORTH: Man I feel like people are really piling on me today.

WINK: Failure has a purpose, the purpose is to learn from your mistake and to do better next time. Failure’s just a challenge to make yourself better.

NORTH: Thank you, as a professor that’s what I try to teach, it’s just hard sometimes to accept it yourself.

MARS: Well I was going to say I could try. I know how to. Then I’m gonna cast detect magic.

JAS: Cool

NORTH: I swear if you roll a twenty

MARS: Let’s fucking hope

MAR: Did you also-

MARS: I want you to know, that was a fucking three.

JAS: The dice don’t want my plot to continue. The dice said actually, I don’t think so

WINK: Are there plants nearby?

JAS: Ooh, yes! There are! There are several trees lining the pathways, you see that there’s one building that’s got ivy crawling up the wall and this house actually has some big rose bushes in the front yard.

WINK: I would like to go and talk to the rose bushes.

JAS: Excellent, let’s go talk to the rose bushes then!

WINK: Okay so as a dryadfolk I have the innate casting ability for speak with animals or speak with plants.

JAS: Mhm! Once per day

WINK: Yes so I’m going to speak with plants. Does it work the same as speak with animals?

JAS: Yup, you just do it.

WINK: Okay soI’m just going to talk to this rose bush. I’m going to say hey there’s some fucky-wucky stuff going on, do you know anything about it?

JAS, in the most horrid voice: Hey, uh, I don’t know what kind of fucky-wucky stuff you’re referring to, Miss

WINK: Like everyone is asleep, usually, don’t rose bushes in Autumn require a lot of care to keep blooming?

JAS: Yeah, well, you know, it’s a little bit colder here so like

WINK: But no one has cared for you this morning?

JAS: No, you know, now that you mention it, I haven’t seen anyone this morning

WINK: Nobody-

JAS: Like, y’all are the first people!

WINK: Okay um

JAS: Shoot, I haven’t even seen any animals! There hasn’t been a bug on my leaf this morning, ooh, I could get used to this

WINK: Well, the bugs have a purpose, ladybugs-

JAS: Yeah, to annoy my ass

WINK: Well the ladybugs they eat the aphids and the vineboars, they keep population under control

JAS: Yeah yeah whatever

WINK: But you have caregivers so you will be fine

JAS: Well-

WINK: But have you felt anything unusual in the earth, or in the citarya, I don’t know how you want me to refer to the dirt

JAS: It’s either way

WINK: Have you felt anything unusual in the soil? In the air?

JAS: Gotta say, there was some like, weird vibe in the dew this morning.  Like-

WINK: Are you sure this is a rose plant and not a marijuana plant? Asking for a friend

JAS: Actually you look twice and it’s somewhere between the two

WINK: Oh so it’s like cleome, got it.

JAS: Uh, like, there was something, I don’t know, it was kinda wack. It just, you know like, I’m a plant right?

WINK: Yeah

JAS: So I don’t sleep, right, I just do my photosynthesis and just hang out and vibe and hang out, ya know, we keep it tight, we keep it real.

WINK: Okay

JAS: And I was just chilling this morning when I got like wicked sleepy bro, but i was like how do I even feel sleepy, I’m a plant! And then I was just like nah, I’ll choose vibes instead, and so I’m here now talking to you

WINK: Okay. Okay, do you know about what time it was, like relative to sunrise.

JAS; It was like just before, like you know that moment when it starts to get a little warm, just before the sun comes up, like and it’s super chill and nice because everyone’s still quiet but it’s got that like nice little bit of warmth

WINK: I can’t say I do, I’m a very late sleeper most days

JAS: You’re missing out dude

WINK: I will try to experience it sometime

JAS: You should

WINK: Is it okay if I relay all this information to my friends?

JAS: Absolutely homeslice

WINK; I didn’t want you to think I was talking about you behind your back.

JAS: No I appreciate it, I appreciate it man, rad!

WINK: So my friend, what’s your name?

JAS: Uh, Robert

WINK: (inaudible)

JAS: Guess which names were preplanned and guess which ones were out of my ass!

WINK: So, friends, my friend here, Robert

JAS: Robert the rose bush

WINK: You are not a rose bush, my love. Um, my friend here, Robert, he has told me that just before dawn, when it’s a little bit warm just before dawn, he had this very weird urge to get sleepy. Pure plants, I mean dryadfolk obviously we get sleepy because we are sentient, no offense

JAS: None taken, man

WINK: But dryadfolk, we sleep, but if you are a pure plant you don’t sleep, it’s just if the sun is not out, you rest but you don’t sleep, it’s not quite a trance, you are awake but you just-

JAS: It’s just vibes

WINK: It’s just vibes. And so he says that in the early hours that he got this urge to be sleepy and plants don’t get sleepy so there’s a time for us at least, just before sunrise

MERCER: That is a nice time of day

WINK: He agrees, Robert agrees. I’ve never experienced before sunrise unless I’ve stayed up all night but we don’t have to talk about that

MERCER: The monks like to travel most of the day so

WINK: That is fair. I stay up late at night so I sleep late into the day

MARS: I have a question real quick, Hesperis is the only one that can hear the rose bush, right?

JAS: Yes, also I hope that you all know that that voice is never coming out of me again, it is today only, it is a my voice is dying special

NORTH: It reminds me of the “I don’t have shoelaces”

JAS: Do the roar!

MERCER: Do it!

JAS: Stupid, anyway.

NORTH: I kinda like, I wanna pull out a notebook and look at Hesperis and like put my pen to it. So like, how does that work? Is it like a translation? Do you hear them in your language?

WINK: It’s just, uh, I can comprehend their language and communicate with them. It’s the same as talking to you, and we’re talking, are we not? We’re communicating and comprehending.

NORTH: Alright, thank you. I put it back up.

WINK: Okay, that was weird

NORTH: Sorry, I like to know things

WINK: It’s okay. No one’s ever been like, interested in me, like curious, they’re just like, oh yeah, that’s Hesperis, she’s weird as fuck.

NORTH: I mean it’s not often you get to see people from Spring, or dryadfolk in general for me at least

WINK:  I see dryadfolk in Spring all the time.

NORTH: Well, yes, In Spring

MARS: In Winter, the closest thing we have to a dryadfolk is a snowman with a radish in the nose that walks around on occasion that gets put on TV.

JAS: Roll an insight check

MAR: Sylacrum

WINK: Can I roll a bullshit check?

JAS: Like to call bullshit? Is that what you’re asking?

WINK: I wanna call bullshit and see if everybody else will believe me if I call bullshit, because I know it’s bullshit

MARS: That’s a 24

JAS: With a 24, you are looking as Hesperis and Hesperis is like what the fuck are you on about? And just based on the vibes, you are suddenly certain based on how certain Hesperis is that there are dryadfolk in Winter.

MARS: Wait-

MAR: I spent like eighty years in Winter, I’ve seen dryadfolk.

JAS: Yes, yes you have

WINK: So we all know-

MAR: I don’t know what you’re on

MARS: What do you-

MAR: There are dryadfolk in Winter. They don’t look like Hesperis does right now, but there are dryadfolk in Winter!

WINK: I don’t usually look like this either

MERCER: What the fuck is a snowman?

MAR: It’s a ball made out of snow, stacked on top of a bigger one, and then another smaller one stacked on top of that. Then you like decorate it to look like a man.

JAS: (as Rowena) That’s incredibly odd.

WINK: That terrifies me.

MERCER: That’s quite weird.

JAS: (as Rowena) That’s nightmarish. And you do this… why?

WINK: (overlapping) I wonder if I could make a dirt man in Spring.

MAR: Children think it’s fun?

MERCER: Do you want to make a dirt man?

WINK: I want to - can I make a dirt man right here?

JAS: (as Rowena) Please don’t deface my friends’ lawn while they’re presumably passed out.

WINK: If I could find like a field?

JAS: Oh, yeah, outside of town there’s like, nothing. So, there’s some mountains, there’s some…

WINK: Hesperis whips out a little notepad and pulls out a to-do list and she puts on there, “Make a dirt man.”

JAS: (as Rowena): This is a thing you do with children?

MAR: Yes.

JAS: (as Rowena) Odd. Fascinating.

WINK: And they say that spring is the weird place.

MAR: It’s not even something that you do with children, it’s something that the children come up with on their own, mostly.

JAS: (as Rowena) That’s almost worse.

MAR: I know!

WINK: Children in Spring are not even as psychotic as that.

MAR: It’s really not that bad! It’s like, kind of cute!

NORTH: You should see the snow angels.

MAR: They lay down in the snow and they like… move their arms, unless they have wings, in which case they might just put their wings in the snow. I don’t know. Valus?

NORTH: I just kind of lay down.

JAS: (as Rowena) Yeah, I think the wings do all the angel-ing for you, don’t they?

MAR: Right. But you know what a snow angel is but you don’t know what a snowman is?

JAS: (as Rowena) Oh, no. I just… context clues.

MAR: Fair.

MERCER: I don’t know how accurate that would be. And Caelum fully spreads out his wings, that are very clearly angel wings. I don’t think that yours are quite as accurate as mine.

MAR: Well, the goal isn’t accuracy. Most children do it by flapping their wings - as in, arms.

MERCER: That’s very odd.

MAR: Yeah, yeah it is.

WINK: So they… okay.

MAR: They just lay down in the snow!

JAS: (as Rowena) Winter’s strange. We mostly, here, just get big piles of leaves and then run and jump into them. It’s quite fun.

MERCER: I grew up doing that.

JAS: (as Rowena) Yes, it’s quite wonderful.

MAR: I think it’s more of a seasonal difference thing than someone being more weird than others. Like, people in Winter would find jumping into leaves pretty weird, because we don’t really have any leaves.

JAS: (as Rowena) I guess that’s true.

WINK: You don’t have leaves?

MAR: Well, I mean we have evergreen trees and leaves on plants that don’t lose their leaves, but… on like normal trees.

WINK: Plants lose their leaves?

MAR: Well, yeah.

WINK: [SOUND OF DISTRESS]

MAR: And well, they don’t really lose them so much as they don’t have them in the first place because it’s perpetually winter.

WINK: Then how are they plants if they don’t have leaves?

MAR: They have branches!

MERCER: There are plants that don’t have leaves.

WINK: Antlers have branches and they are not plants!

MAR: But you have antlers and you’re a plant!

WINK: I am not a plant! [NOISES OF DISTRESS] Hesperis is just going to break down sobbing. For those who can’t see me right now, I am in tears.

MAR: I know you’re not a plant, but your hair looks like plants and you’re like… part tree?

MERCER: Caelum is going to very awkwardly move towards Hesperis and very like, clearly he is not in practice of doing this, wrap his arms around her and cast Hug.

WINK: What is this?

MERCER: it’s something that the monks taught me. When people are feeling upset, you do this.

WINK: I don’t like it. It feels like a cage.

MERCER: It’s called a hug.

WINK: [SHUDDERS]

JAS: Mercer, would you please describe the spell Hug that you are casting? Or, read the description, if you don’t mind.

MERCER: I don’t have the description.

MAR: i have the description!

MERCER: Mar has the description, ‘cause Mar made the spell.

JAS: This is our little, homebrew spell. It’s quite tasty.

MERCER: It’s not a spell! Hug is a cantrip!

MAR: Hug is a cantrip!

JAS: All right, hug is a cantrip, excuse me, I’m so sorry.

MAR: Okay, this isn’t fully accurate, because I think we decided the casting time was an action?

JAS: Yes.

MAR: Okay, so, Hug is an evocation cantrip with a range of touch and a casting time of one action. It only has somatic components, the somatic component is to hug someone. And the concentration is for however long the target remains willing. Because as an action, the caster wraps their arms around a willing creature to instill in them a sense of love and support. The effects of the spell last as long as both the caster and the target remain willing. The spell has a 50% chance of restoring 1d6 HP to the target as well as a 25% chance of the same to the caster.

JAS: The other note on that is it cannot bring someone back to health after they have been knocked out because they cannot receive the effects of love from the hug ‘cause they are unconscious. Is Hesperis in this moment a willing creature?

WINK: She’s not unwilling, she’s just… is perturbed the right word?

JAS: Perturbed’s a good word.

WINK: She’s like mildly disturbed by this. She’s like “What the fuckening is this?”

MERCER: I feel like Caelum is also not fully a willing creature.

MERCER: Mostly just confused.

WINK: OK, well that was thoroughly unpleasant and she, like, unwraps Caelum’s arms from her and kind of steps away.

MERCER: I did not quite enjoy that either, I’m so sorry.

WINK: it is not your fault, it was a learning experience for both of us. Failure is just an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.

JAS: (as Rowena) Might I say that that was the most awkward hug I’ve ever seen? I’m sorry.

MAR: Can I show them what a proper use of the spell hug, please?

JAS: (as Rowena) Absolutely!

MAR: I am going to - what is her name again?

JAS: Rowena is their name.

MAR: I am going to give them a hug. I am going to cast Hug, as a cantrip.

JAS: Excellent. Will you roll that d4 for me?

MAR: Yes. It’s a 3!

JAS: It’s a 3! So Rowena heals a little bit even though Rowena is at max. So. That was just for effect. It is a delightful little hug.

MAR: I’m gonna roll my d6 anyway. It’s a 5!

JAS: Five! They get… that is more hit points than Rowena has.

MARS: Oh, God.

JAS: This is a regular person!

WINK: Regular person!

MAR: Regular person!

JAS: Regular person! In the wise words of Brennan Lee Mulligan, “He’s not cursed, he’s just a guy!” Yeah, so, it’s a very good hug! It’s a tasty ass hug. Yeah.

WINK: That looked a lot better than whatever that…

JAS: (as Rowena) It was quite pleasant.

WINK: Nothing against you! I didn’t know it was coming.

MERCER: I also have not hugged somebody in… four years?

JAS: (as Rowena) Oh, darling.

MAR: It tends to work better if you’re familiar with the person. Or if you ask them first.

JAS: (as Rowena) Consent is wonderful.

MAR: It’s kind of a requirement for the healing component of a hug.

JAS: Yes.

MERCER: I did not know that it was a healing thing.

JAS: (as Rowena) It can be! It also just can be delightful. Anyway, we have - everyone asleep. Everyone’s asleep!

MAR: Everyone’s asleep except us.

JAS: (as Rowena) And we’re talking about hugs. And the rosebush.

MAR: And the rosebush. The plants, in general.

NORTH: The bush.

MAR: And I’m sorry for calling you a plant.

WINK: It is okay.

MAR: You just look very much like a plant and it’s delightful.

WINK: Thank you! Plants are very beautiful.

MAR: They are! I need everyone to know that in that moment Cire is fully hearteyes at Hesperis.

JAS: Damn, we’re starting out episode one. The lesbians, we stay winning.

[EVERYONE LAUGHING]

MARS: There’s no U-Hauls in Autumn.

MAR: There are in Winter!

MERCER: Actually, there is a carriage service.

WINK: We’ve actually talked about this!

MERCER: There is a carriage service, it’s not called U-Haul, it’s called W-Move. It’s called W-Move ‘cause We Move. My brother had to use it at one point.

MAR: I’m going to have a breakdown.

MARS: I hate… I hate the fact that we “Yes, and” so much shit sometimes.

JAS: You better get used to it, bitch.

MARS: I love it and I hate it.

JAS: We “Yes, and” here. There’s like, not even “No, but”s. Like I know that’s the other rule of improv, like, “Yes, and” OR “No, but” but… we don’t “No, but” here. It’s “Yes, and,” and suddenly there’s new things in the lore and my poor world is ruined. What?

WINK: What? No, you just get to experience that when you edit it out later.

JAS: Stare into the camera like I’m on The Office except this time it’s a microphone, because that’s how that works.

WINK: [LAUGHING]

JAS: (as Rowena) Right, we’re going to deal with the people asleep.

MAR: I would like to but I don’t know how.

JAS: (as Rowena) Well, I don’t either.

MAR: Great!

JAS: (as Rowena) We’re doing good.

MERCER: You, don’t you know stuff about magic?

JAS: (as Rowena) Yeah, you’re a wizard type, aren’t you?

NORTH: I know a bit, but I haven’t been able to find out much. I guess our best hope’s to keep moving at this point. We both failed our Detect Magic, so I guess we better start walking.

MAR: But where are we supposed to go?

MERCER: Would I know where the highest point in town or maybe a source of water in town is?

JAS: Okay, interesting. There’s actually a creek that runs through town pretty proper, like it was built along this creek. So that would be pretty near. High points, there are mountains nearby, which are obviously fairly high, and jutting off one of those mountains is this plateau area, so that is around - you’ve been in town for a couple of days, so you would know.

MERCER: Can sleep magic be put through water or something?

JAS: You can absolutely make an arcana check to know that, Valus.

MAR: That’s a decent roll for once!

NORTH: That is a 22.

JAS: Cool! So… hmm. Theoretically, it could. Theoretically anything is possible. However, I think you definitely had interactions with water from the town, which presumably would have come from the creek. So you would..

NORTH: Doesn’t seem likely.

JAS: It doesn’t seem likely, yeah.

NORTH: So yes, you can attribute the sleeping spell to a moving body of water but it just doesn’t seem likely that that’s what it came from. I mean, we’ve all had water, we’ve all bathed, we’ve all drank something.

WINK: What is bathing? I’m kidding! I just wanted to see if you would really think that we did not bathe in Spring. And it worked!

JAS: (as Rowena) Honestly, I bought it, too.

MERCER: Did all of us breathe in some of the incense smoke?

MAR: I’m sure I did.

NORTH: I mean, surely.

WINK: You guys have to breathe? I got you again!

MAR: Wait, you don’t?

JAS: (as Rowena) I was like, “Don’t plants photosynthesize?” Well, obviously you’re not a plant, but…

NORTH: Slowly reaches for notebook.

MAR: I do have a question for you. Do you breathe like us or do you exchange like the other way, like plants do?

WINK: Oh good Lord, you guys are so stupid.

[LAUGHTER]

WINK: I talk, yes?

MAR: Yeah.

WINK: I have lungs?

MAR: Okay yeah, fair.

MARS: I mean, presumably.

MAR: I did not know that you had lungs, in fairness.

WINK: Doctor! If someone can talk, that implies that they have a method, or moving air from inside of their bodies to outside of their body through one tube!

MAR: But the rose bush could talk!

WINK: That was different, because you did not hear the rose bush, did you?

MAR: That’s true.

WINK: But I did, because I was communicating with the rose bush.

MARS: Well, you just proved yourself there, that you don’t have to, you know -

WINK: You don’t have to breathe to communicate, you have to breathe to talk.

MAR: Okay, fair.

NORTH: You don’t have to breathe to use Message.

MAR: Yeah, you do. It has verbal components.

NORTH: Really?

MAR: Yes!

NORTH: I thought it was like an in-the-head thing.

MAR: Message has verbal, somatic, and material components.

NORTH: I meant throughout the actual use of Message between somebody. . Like if I’m using Message.

JAS: (as Rowena) It’s only a one-way street. You only talk once. You say the spell word, to be like “Ah, yes, I’m going to cast Message” - I’m not a mage. I just.

MAR: Whisper a message. That’s the verbal component.

JAS: (as Rowena) That’s it? Oh, I didn’t know that. That was fully in character, I don’t know what you’re on about, showing me a spell card.

MAR: No, I’m just -

MERCER: This is very odd. We should probably try to find why everyone’s asleep.

MAR: Yeah, maybe if nothing else the water would give us an idea of whether or not it was what was used.

MERCER: The reason I asked if everyone breathed - it could potentially be airborne, and if we breathed in the smoke from your ritual for your moon god, maybe it has something to do with the moon deities.

MAR: That part wasn’t for my moon god, but -

MERCER: For one of the moon gods.

MAR: All of the moons were out last night, and that was important. I don’t normally burn my incense in moonlight but I did it in moonlight last night.

MERCER: Did you burn yours in moonlight?

JAS: (as Rowena) I always do, but my god’s moon is generally around most frequently.

MAR: RIght, and I…

MARS: Wait, that gave me an idea. You said that the people inside are elves. Did they burn any incense?

JAS: (as Rowena) They’re sun elves.

MAR: And they’re passed out, which must mean it’s not magic that would put someone to sleep because I’ve never heard of an elf having magic put them to sleep. So it must be something different. Has everyone been knocked unconscious, or have they been…

MERCER: I asked that earlier, if it seemed like the barkeep had been knocked out, like if she had passed out or was asleep.

MAR: Well, she didn’t really fall asleep, right? Did she kind of crumple to the ground, did it look like?

WINK: She was just on the floor, in my way to the kitchen.

MAR: Fair enough.

NORTH: If the animals were asleep, and the plants felt like they should sleep, I feel like it would be safe to assume that they would be asleep. But it doesn’t answer the question of the elves.

MAR: Right, it doesn’t answer the question of the elves. Why the other elves in town were affected when as far as I know, sleep magic doesn’t affect us.

WINK: [CHICKEN SOUNDS] The plot chickens.

[EVERYONE LAUGHING]

JAS: On that note, I need perception checks from Hesperis, Caelum, and Valus.

WINK: That’s a whole twelve.

JAS: Okay.

NORTH: That is a… fourteen.

MERCER: That is a twenty-one.

JAS: Okay. Caelum, you get to roll at advantage, I need you three to roll Dexterity saving throws.

MERCER: Aaa! Wait I’m proficient in those.

JAS: Caelum gets advantage.

WINK: That’s a twenty.

MERCER: Natural twenty!

JAS: Natural twenty, excellent.

NORTH: Okay, so.. table talk: how do saving throws work?

MAR: Okay, so, roll a d20. And it’s a dexterity saving throw, so that’s just your straight roll because you don’t add anything to dexterity saving throws. Valus rolled a three.

MARS: I wanna point out something, that’s like the sixth three all of us have rolled.

JAS: Cool, so…

MERCER: Twenty-six total.

WINK: Literally, nae-nae yourself.

MERCER: I’m a monk!

JAS: Okay, so. You see it, Caelum. You see a glimmer of this shining, metallic, magic is the only way you can describe it. It’s like a visual, glittering thing and it starts to expand open, and you deftly jump back. And Hesperis, you almost instinctually jump back. As these gaping holes open in the earth beneath you, a shimmering pool that looks almost reflected, but twisted. And then one opens directly under Valus and he falls immediately through.

[END THEME]