Episode 13: Boulder’s Bend Transcript
Transcript Note: Next in the Order’s episodes are hand-transcribed by members of the cast. If you find issues with accuracy, clarity, or formatting, please let us know and we’ll get it fixed as soon as we possibly can! You can contact us via Instagram or Twitter @nextintheorder.
A PDF version of this transcript is available here.
JAS: In the middle of the desert, a woman screams. It’s agony, the kind of pain only a mother losing a child would know. He flips his cape around quickly and turns away, and puts his head in his hands, and does his best to walk away. This is Next in the Order.
[THEME MUSIC]
JAS: Hello my dear Storycatchers, and welcome back to another episode of Next in the Order! I am your not-so-humble-DM, Jas, and we’re back at it again. Wink, we got a pronoun check? Oh, my pronouns this week are, “No.”
WINK: Fair enough. Um, my pronouns this week are she/her, but in the way that a pirate ship is a “she”. You know?
JAS: Uh-huh.
WINK: Like, I am she in the way that the Black Pearl is a she.
JAS: Sexy.
NORTH: So refer to you as she/her in an admiring way?
WINK: In an admiring and almost…
MAR: She/her, awestruck.
JAS: And also, you gotta say it in a pirate voice.
WINK: [pirate voice] Arrr.
JAS: [pirate voice] This lass right here.
MAR: She/her, admiring.
WINK: She/her, admiring and slightly afraid.
MAR: So, awestruck?
NORTH: Slightly afraid.
WINK: Yes, yes. That- yeah.
MAR: Awestruck in the traditional definition of awe.
WINK: Yeah, okay.
JAS: Linguistics bitch. All right, where we last left off, we did some traveling, we picked a group name, so exciting! So thrilling. We have made our way downtown on over to Endless Day, where we just entered the city of Boulder’s Bend, a merchant city that is full of people and alife with color, and laughter, and yelling in the square, and people trying to sell you everything that you can think of. I don’t like Wink’s eyebrow raise. Um.
WINK: I wanna do a shopping spree.
JAS: And, yeah, so we just made our way to Boulder’s Bend, we got a piece of the Fissure Core fragment, and we got a shitty deal with Valren Hydrox, who also got pissed at you on the road.
WINK: Fuck capitalism.
JAS: Yes, of course, fuck capitalism. So the greasy man told you that he was going to, like, bring down his fury upon you, and y’all said, “Okay, cool.” and then kept on walking to Endless Day.
NORTH: Like a pop-up ad.
JAS: Yeah. You are in Boulder’s Bend, the day is yours, what would you like to do.
NORTH: How are we on, like, supplies? ‘Cause didn’t we basically just cross an almost-desert?
JAS: So, you’ve kind of crossed part of the desert. You’ve done like a day of travel actually in desert sun. But it hasn’t been bad yet. You’re toasty.
WINK: Hesperis is wilting in the most literal sense of the term.
JAS: Yeah, that’s where you’re at. Mar, what’s up?
MAR: Okay, two things, first of all. Are we on a fresh long rest?
JAS: Yes. You should be on a fresh long rest.
MAR: Cool, second of all, I forgot to grip and rip my Monster.
JAS: Then grip and rip your fucking Monster, you heathen!
[CAN OPENS]
MAR: Okay, thank you. That is all.
JAS: Okay, great! Freshly long rested, you should have all of your spells, and your vibes, and you’ve got the hustling bustling city in front of you, there are merchants lining the streets, all with wares, yelling and asking, demanding that you come investigate their products. You’ve got a bunch of different looking buildings that you can go up, if you want there’s a notice board that is down the way a little bit. If you would like to find, maybe, some work or something like that.
MAR: Can I investigate the noticeboard?
JAS: You are absolutely welcome to investigate the noticeboard.
WINK: Real quick before we go into noticeboard things, i would just like to point out that Hesperis is intrigued by the shop, shouter people? And is going to go on a little shopping spree, we don’t have to go into the details, because I know that can get really boring very easily. How much money do we have? She spends a good bit of it.
NORTH: Can I…?
JAS: You don’t, there’s not really any magical places around here, right? Like…
WINK: Oh, she’s just buying shit.
JAS: Yeah, uh, there’s a bunch of little trinkets, and you find these mobiles, made of glass, so they just spin and dance in the light, and reflect different colors all around. it’s very pretty.
WINK: They’re very pretty, however, right now she’s on a quest for clothing that is covering her skin, but less toasty. Because right now she is in several layers because she dresses, again, like a fruit bat going to a tea party.
JAS: Yes.
WINK: So, specifically, she’s looking for another shade umbrella, a headscarf of some sort, and lighter but more covery clothes.
JAS: Yeah, that kind of thing is more than easy to find and you have plenty of options to look around and see. Tell me, describe to me, what does Hesperis’s fit look like? What is the fit check?
WINK: So, I’m kind of imagining her in, maybe she’s found a flowy, ground-length dress, she has stashed her Profs and is now in some slipper-y kind of shoes. I’m gonna say they’re kind of like ankle boots, almost, because you don’t want getting sand in your shit.
JAS: No.
WINK: And I think she might have some light pants on under her skirt, and a loose, flowy long sleeve top, with a little belt that’s got the jingles on it, just ‘cause she saw it and was like, “gotta have it.” And then these are all in green-ish colors. Because she desperately misses being green. And her headscarf is purple, and it’s very carefully arranged to cover all of her vines, because they are wilting.
JAS: Yes.
WINK: And, I think it’s probably got like a floral, lacy pattern to it. And then her new umbrella is not lace, ‘cause she’s got like the lace tans on her, and she’s like, “This ain’t it, chief.” Hang on, let me do it in her voice. [CORRECTING HESPERIS’ VOICE] This is not it, chief.
[LAUGHTER]
WINK: So she gets one that’s not… obviously not a rain umbrella, but I feel like they would have shade umbrellas here.
JAS: Yeah.
WINK: So it’s probably like a cream-ish color. With an ornate handle - I don’t know, I think she would be like, “That one. The fancy one with the little bird on the handle.”
JAS: Excellent. Yeah.
WINK: Mary Poppins lookin’ ass.
JAS: Yeah, I love it, wonderful.
NORTH: So, quick question, will there be any possible way for Valus to find like, magical contacts or something? Because his glasses are fogging from perspiration.
WINK: I forget that Valus is a very sweaty boy.
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: Canonically, a sweaty boy. Um. Roll an investigation check.
NORTH: Okay. [DICE ROLLING]
WINK: I would like it to be noticed that Hesperis does not sweat, she glistens.
JAS: A nineteen? With a nineteen you are able to find a magic shop that has… it’s not actually out in the streets, it’s in an actual storefront, and you see a whole bunch of stuff in there, but not any magical contacts. That doesn’t appear to be a thing. At least here.
NORTH: So what kind of materials, thin-wise, so they have clothes made out of in this area? I don’t know anything about…
JAS: Clothing is… a lot of them are made out of, a lot of the clothing is flowier with a lot of movement to it, but it’s going to cover the skin. The goal is to cover as much of the skin as possible, but let as much air in as possible. So you want that airflow coming through, so it’s gonna be some looser-woven, nicer, breezier so it can protect from the sun, because the sun is brutal. And I think y’all realize as you’re walking around, it is… technically, based on what time it is - Valus from Winter, you would have a phone, fully, so you could check what time it was, and it’s fully, like, ten o’ clock at night, and it’s just… bright, like yeah.
NORTH: So, Valus, being someone who has only worn, like, slacks and button-ups for the last, I don’t know, ten to fifteen years, whatever, he doesn’t know much about clothing, so he’s not entirely sure what to buy to help him on his desert adventures.
WINK: Can Hesperis do a makeover?
JAS: Yes.
WINK: Okay, also, not to be a textile bitch, but you would want very fine fibers, but tightly woven.
MAR: Correct.
JAS: No, and I knew that, but also, dumb gay bitch disease.
WINK: Understandable, have a nice day, I just… you know.
JAS: No, you’re right, you’re fully right.
WINK: Not to be an, “Um, actually,” bitch, just to be a textile nerd.
MAR: This is like you with the frog shit.
WINK: I’m sorry.
NORTH: You can also describe the outfit that you help Valus make, because when I say Valus doesn’t know anything about clothes, I mean me.
[LAUGHTER]
WINK: I feel like what Hesperis would put Valus in is… so does Valus just come up to Hesperis while she’s picking out clothes? And is like, “Help”?
NORTH: Yeah. You can see there’s a look of confusion and desperation on his face.
WINK: And Hesperis just lightly claps her hands together and goes [CLAPS] “Makeover time!” That wasn’t Hesperis’ voice. [CORRECTING HESPERIS’ VOICE] It is makeover time, and sort of drags Valus along to all of the shops. Okay, so we’re going to put you in this shirt right here. It’s kind of like a poet shirt type lookin’ thing, and the pants that she finds for him… you know what? Fuck it, she puts him in the same pants that she’s wearing, which is the loose pants with a skirt over it, but the color scheme… you get to pick the colors, she picks the style. And we’re also gonna give you some, i feel like, some drapery to go over the wings to keep them shaded would be very cute. So, yeah. What colors do you want to do?
NORTH: Um… I think I’m gonna do blue, ‘cause Valus finds blue very comforting.
WINK: I’m going to make the executive decision that it is a light blue for the top, navy blue for the pants, and kind of like a tye-dye blue, almost purple for the wing cover.
JAS: Tasty.
NORTH: Cool. Valus is entirely uncomfortable in his new attire, but realizes that it is necessary.
WINK: Is he emotionally uncomfortable, but physically like, “Oh, thank fuck?”
NORTH: So it’s like a, “Wow, I feel a lot better,” in his head, but he’s standing like this.
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: Give us a physical description.
NORTH: It is like, feet out at 45 degree angles, arms are just stiff, and kind of staring partially down to the ground - it’s like when you put socks on a dog, and they just kind of stand there or fall over. It’s the same thing.
JAS: That’s so good. So, that’s what’s going on over there. Back over to the notice board, where Cire’s checking it out. I’m not going to make you roll anything, ‘cause it’s just reading a noticeboard.
MAR: Can Cire read? Yes.
JAS: Thank fuck.
WINK: Illiterate characters are the best, though.
MAR: Okay, but, no they’re not.
JAS: One of my home campaigns started out with three of the four PCs being illiterate, and I about had a breakdown.
MAR: Wait, who was the literate one?
JAS: Mercutio.
MAR: All right, Cire’s reading a noticeboard.
JAS: Yes, Cire is reading a noticeboard, and you see there’s a lot of… there’s a bit of individual mercenary work, you see a few that are like, “This person is dead.” Like, “Meet me in the shady back corner of the Backwater Inn.” So there’s several of those that are just… you also see quite a few ads for things happening in Sylras, which you would know is the capital of Endless Day. I say capital, it is very loosely the capital, because Endless Day doesn’t really have a governing system or anything like that, but Sylras is the most populated city, and it is kind of, if you want anything to get done, that’s where it’s going to happen. That is spelled S-Y-L-R-A-S. You’re also welcome, if you would like, to roll a history check to see if you know anything about Sylras beyond that, or if you don’t want to, you also don’t have to, but I think Cire out of everyone might have the knowledge, with that Far Traveler background.
[DICE ROLLING]
MAR: Yeah, she doesn’t know much.
JAS: Great, so no more lore there. But you are seeing several of these jobs, you see that there are three that catch your eye as viable things to do in the area, or without traveling to Sylras. You see that there is a merchant who is looking to transport some goods and just wants a party to help protect those goods. Very vague on what the goods are, and doesn’t exactly say where you’re going, just that it will be a three day journey, and then there’s some contact information there. Then there is one that is helping hunt down, there has been rumors of some creatures underground in… so, little bit of terrain for you, little terrain knowledge. And, you can see this, right? Endless Day is incredibly flat. Much of Endless Day is incredibly flat, but about a third of it, the third closest to the Inner Wheel, which is the third that y’all are in, just beyond where Boulder’s Bend is, you can see in the distance at the moment, you can see rocky cliffs and such, and so, there’s also a river that runs through town, that kind of goes over towards where the cliffs are, and so these underground things, it says that they lost a small group of miners and would like whatever it is to be eradicated from underground, but it has no details.
NORTH: I’m assuming you mean miners, not…
JAS: Yes, miners like mining for gold, not like under 21. And the third one is here in town, it’s incredibly cryptic, and it’s just asking for people with fighting prowess to be a part of a “Meeting of the Minds” and it gives a few details on location, but that’s it.
NORTH: Like, fighting prowess like…
JAS: The ability to fight, so anybody who is not, pretty much, y’all are travelers, so you would have…
NORTH: Valus’ pure barbarian physique that he has.
[LAUGHTER]
NORTH: Would be perfect.
JAS: Your, what? Eight in strength?
NORTH: I think it’s actually a six. It is a six, I have a -2 to strength.
JAS: I meant more like, in a combat, Valus can hold their own, right?
NORTH: As long as nothing hits for over 25, yeah.
MAR: Cire is going to take out a small notebook and write down whatever details of the three jobs are available on the noticeboard and bring them back to where the rest of the party is, or whatever… if Hesperis and Valus are separated from Caelum, probably find Hesperis and Valus, but if they’re all together, find them all.
JAS: Yeah. What’s Caelum been up to?
MERCER: Um, Caelum has been looking moreso in the textile area, to try to find a couple nice spools of thread and yarn.
JAS: Easy enough.
MERCER: Like, stuff that would only be able to be purchased in Endless Day.
JAS: Yeah, you find some… you find, you’re looking for threads and yarns, you said?
MERCER: Yeah.
JAS: You find this really unique thread that kind of is, like, chunkier in some places and thinner in others, and has, you can tell it’s incredibly well-made, looks to be hand-dyed, massive skein of it. Yeah, that is - and it’s all muticolored.
MERCER: He wants it.
JAS: Bright, vivid colors. Not so much like, rainbow, a little bit more jewel-toned than that. But that’s the energy we’re getting. So, yeah. That’s one of the things you find, and you can find some other threads and things, but…
WINK: I forgot about Hesperis’ antlers when I was talking about her headscarf.
JAS: It’s little nubs, there’s just like little points.
WINK: Well, she has, like, three little prongs on it.
JAS: Yeah.
WINK: But yeah, she’s just got little points under her headscarf. She’s like… did y’all ever watch The Flying Nun?
ALL EXCEPT WINK: No…
WINK: Okay, it was this really cool TV show that I used to watch when I was at my granddad’s house, because we didn’t have cable, we only had the bunny ear antenna.
JAS: Yep.
WINK: It was this really old TV show and they look like… they have this like, swoop in their little habit thingy. And so she looks like that. Anyway, go Google The Flying Nun. It’s great. It’s where a good portion of my sense of humor comes from. But, yeah, sorry to hijack Caelum’s shopping trip.
JAS: You’re good.
MAR: So, for the sake of brevity, Cire just kind of outlines everything you told me.
JAS: Yeah. There’s the three different ones; help protect merchant goods, the “Meeting of the Minds,” and hunt something down underground.
NORTH: And this is being relayed to everyone?
JAS: Yeah. You’re told all of the…
NORTH: A Meeting of the Minds absolutely piques Valus’ interest.
MAR: Well, that’s also the only one that’s in town.
MERCER: Um, also, with our track record of dealing with things underground? I don’t know if the mining one would be the best thing for us.
MAR: Were there any details about what kind of reward would exist for those first two jobs?
JAS: Oh, um… yes. The merchant ones would be paid in our terms, 2 loot per person, and it would be one upon departure, one upon safe arrival of the goods. Then there is with the mining one, it would be… what did I say? Eight loot… no, it’s ten loot total upon the proof of whatever it is being dead. So.
MAR: And were there any details about how soon the merchant needed someone…?
JAS: It is in this next week.
MAR: And when is the Meeting of the Minds?
JAS: It is tomorrow.
MAR: Okay.
JAS: The merchant one is in three days, the miners one is ASAP, and then Meeting of the Minds is tomorrow.
MAR: Tomorrow as in the day that starts at midnight, like in two hours?
JAS: Yeah.
MAR: Well, what do y’all think about the jobs?
WINK: I think the one underground sounds like a great story. But I don’t know if we are quite qualified.
NORTH: I think Caelum’s right on this one. We’ve had a bit of a trek here, so, maybe take a break until tomorrow and see about the meeting?
MAR: Works for me. Should we find a place to rest, then?
NORTH: I think so. It is late.
MERCER: There should be some inns around here somewhere.
JAS: Yeah, you easily enough - what scale of inn are we looking for? How nice are we looking? This is a decent-sized town, so there are several different inns and things.
MAR: I think probably just something functional.
NORTH: Something that blocks out the light, if possible.
JAS: You do notice that a lot of these inns advertise dark rooms. That’s their big selling point, like, incredibly dark, light blocking technology.
MAR: Something with a dark room.
JAS: Cool. You, somebody who wants to, roll an investigation check.
MERCER: I’ve been here before.
NORTH: That’s a nat 1, baby!
JAS: You find the shittiest inn. The sign is the kind where it’s on one chain, swaying back and forth, and the inn looks as if, if you blow on it, it will fall over.
MAR: Would I see Valus going for this… I know this isn’t how this mechanic… can I help them?
JAS: Yes. Be like, “No…”
MAR: Can I go, “This is not what we’re looking for,” and give them advantage.
JAS: Yes. You can now roll again.
[MERCER LAUGHING]
NORTH: Seven.
MERCER: Can I roll? I’ve been here before?
JAS: If you’ve been here before, you can just be like, “There’s one down that way.”
NORTH: Cire tries to spin me to turn me around and it just spins me around in a circle facing the same thing.
MAR: No. I tried to spin Valus and then Valus keeps spinning to look back at the shitty in.
MERCER: I rolled a fourteen.
JAS: Fourteen. You’re like, “Oh, I remember.” You remember there is the Cozy Cauldron. It is an inn nearby that kind of… it kind of has some more Autumn-themed things there. Like, it’s a bit more like a tavern and inn, to kind of help people get accustomed. It’s like having an American-themed hotel somewhere else. So it’s not perfect, but you’ve stayed there before and you know it’s decent.
NORTH: Once we find this inn, can I look to see if there’s any inter-season post offices?
JAS: You are more than welcome to go find an inter-seasonal post office.
NORTH: I have letters to ship.
JAS: Yeah, so you all go on and get a room at the inn. Are you all getting separate rooms, or…? What’s the vibe?
NORTH: I’ll just get a separate room.
MERCER: We need to sleep. These bitches just need to trance.
NORTH: That is true. I guess we could have a trance room.
WINK: Hang on. Because Hesperis is very gay, right?
JAS: Yes.
WINK: So Hesperis is going to walk up next to Cire and go: We could split the cost of a room if it would be easier on you. I wouldn’t mind at all. Can I roll for persuasion?
MAR: Cire rolled a 17 on insight, so you can roll to see how obvious you are with being gay, to see if Cire realizes it.
WINK: That’s a sixteen plus numbers on “gay,” I know for a goddamn fact that I have a bonus to “gay” rolls, so sixteen plus numbers.
MAR: Okay, yeah, fair enough. I think that’s probably Charisma, and I’m guessing you have proficiency in gay, so…
WINK: Yeah. My Charisma bonus is a +4, just straight, and if I have proficiency in being gay, that’s gonna be a +6, so that’s a 22 for gay.
MAR: Okay…
JAS: Cire, you are picking up what she is putting down.
WINK: But not in a sexual way, just in a, “I want to be around you” kind of way. I mean, unless Cire wanted to.
MAR: I need to be so clear with this, Cire rolled insight and picked up vibes. That doesn’t mean she knows what the vibes mean.
WINK: Caught a vibe.
JAS: You know how I mentioned having dumb gay bitch disease earlier? No, this is Cire. Cire has dumb gay bitch disease and it’s fucking chronic.
MAR: Cire’s only talent apart from bonk, is dumb gay bitch disease.
JAS: Good. So does Cire just stand there staring at Hesperis or does she respond.
MAR: All right, yeah… okay!
NORTH: I guess Valus is getting his own room.
MAR: Yeah, I guess.
MERCER: Caelum will also get his own room.
JAS: Great, you go up to your rooms. Any conversation between the fruits, or is it just…
NORTH: Awkward, unintentional sexual tension?
WINK: Hesperis is gonna play Song of Rest, I don’t care if it works on a long rest or not, she’s gonna play Song of Rest.
MAR: Fair enough.
NORTH: What does that do?
WINK: I don’t think it matters. It helps you regain hit points, but it’s a long rest.
MAR: Has Caelum gotten rid of the exhaustion from last session?
MERCER: That was…
MAR: Okay, that was a while ago?
MERCER: That was a while ago.
MAR: Okay, I forgot, and I just wanted to make sure that that was not still on your character sheet.
MERCER: No, that was a while ago. Now the only condition I have it Pissed Off™.
WINK: Why are you pissed off?
MERCER: I don’t know, I just haven’t erased it from the fucking morning with Valren, the first time.
JAS: Fair enough, have a nice day.
NORTH: Is Valus… should I do a roll to find a post office?
JAS: Yeah! You can make an investigation check.
NORTH: Oh, baby! [DICE ROLLING] Come one with these! That’s a seven.
MAR: Would the post office be open at ten p.m.?
JAS: Well, you are kind of walking around fully aimlessly, looking for a post office, and are not finding shit. And you see a person, they are a drow, and…
NORTH: (whispering) What’s a drow?
JAS: Drow is a dark elf.
MAR: According to Wizards, but Wizards is wrong.
JAS: Correct. So, they are- Wizards also say that they’re evil, but fuck that. They’ve changed that, recently, but that’s a separate digression.
MAR: There’s a really fun lore reason for that, and that is that Wizards of the Coast is wrong!
JAS: So, you actually know that drow, they have dark skin - nearly black skin, white hair, pretty white eyes, that kind of thing, so… and you see they say, “Excuse me, are you lost?”
NORTH: Um, actually, yes. Absolutely. I’m looking for a post office. To ship some things. Obviously.
JAS: (as drow) You’re about four streets over, so you might wanna… if you go down there, you turn the corner, and you will find the post office.
NORTH: The first corner, or the second one? Which- which corner.
JAS: And they literally - they walk… they show you, there’s nowhere to turn, there’s one turn, four streets down. (as drow) Look, down there. That turn. The fourth one… four streets down, the only right turn there is. You got it.
NORTH: Four streets. Got it.
MAR: Valus also has dumb gay bitch disease.
JAS: Valus just looked so lost.
NORTH: He also has an eight to Charisma.
JAS: Yeah.
WINK: Valus is just disaster baby.
MAR: Valus disaster baby-ed his way through a PhD.
NORTH: I have an eighteen to Intelligence.
MAR: You still disaster baby-ed your way through a PhD.
NORTH: I didn’t have to talk much for my PhD.
MAR: Didn’t you have to defend a dissertation?
NORTH: I did have to defend a dissertation.
WINK: Disaster baby-ed your way through.
MAR: Fair enough.
WINK: Actually, I feel like disaster baby might be a high Charisma…
MAR: Yeah, I think disaster baby is a Charisma thing.
WINK: Okay, so, no, Valus did not disaster baby his way through…
NORTH: What is disaster baby?
JAS: Disaster baby is distinctly persuasion, just a different method of persuasion. Called, feel bad for me.
NORTH: Valus was defending his dissertation just, please?
MAR: Was just “Please?”
WINK: I’m real smart.
MAR: I’m real smart, give me a PhD, please.
JAS: I know plenty of uncharismatic people that have PhDs.
MAR: Yeah, several of them are my professors this semester.
JAS: I was about to say. Uh, what do you do at the post office?
NORTH: Ship all my letters to my mom!
JAS: How many letters you got?
NORTH: Six.
JAS: That’s very good. You send off those letters. Do you tell your mom where to write back to, or just…?
NORTH: I tell her that it will probably just be a one-way street for a little bit. Two of those letters are apology letters for not writing the other four letters sooner.
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: That’s incredibly good. Yeah, you send off those letters.
WINK: I am going to fuck Valus’ mom.
NORTH: Keep your fucking vines…
WINK: You keep your vines out of my mother.
JAS: All right, I think you do this after trancing for your four hours, and wake up. Once everybody else wakes up, the day is yours.
NORTH: This message board that had the thing about a meeting, of whatever, did it say a time?
JAS: Yeah, it had time and details on it, I just didn’t wanna be like, “Here’s all of the details,” in my little tidbit ‘cause no one gives a shit.
MAR: Cire spent the entire time that Hesperis was asleep, but Cire was not trancing, trying to figure out what happened before they got their rooms. ‘Cause she caught a vibe, right, but she has the most chronic case of dumb gay bitch disease. And she’s like… maybe this is just friendly in Spring?
JAS: Ooooh.
NORTH: I bet Cire’s like, damn, cultural differences go hard.
MAR: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
JAS: Oh buddy…
WINK: Sweet summer child.
MAR: I’m from Winter!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
JAS: Hey guys! It’s Jas, thank you so much for listening to Episode 13 of Next in the Order. This is the first episode of our arc that takes place in Endless Day, and I am so excited! Which means it is the perfect time, to, if you’ve been enjoying the podcast so far, tell a friend! They could even, honestly, hop in at Episode 13 and not be that lost, just a little lost. So, yeah, if you like the show, tell a friend, and now onto the adver-tiz-ments. You wanna make a podcast. I mean, obviously, right? It’s such a great thing, and everyone needs to hear your voice just going straight into their ear holes. Well, how are you gonna get it to people? Why, that’s with Buzzsprout, of course! Buzzsprout is the easiest and best podcast hosting site out there, and if you wanna talk about, I don’t know, dogs, um… that’s the first thing that popped into mind… weird plants! Dungeons and Dragons, other tabletop RPGs. You can launch your podcast for free right now with Buzzsprout. And as a bonus, you will get a $20 Amazon gift card with a paid account when you use the link in the description of the episode. You can go on there and see why over 100,000 podcasters, including us, choose Buzzsprout. Also, go ahead and head on over to patreon.com/nextintheorder to support the show. We’ve got some exclusive content, you can hang out with the cast… I say the cast and crew, we’re literally just the cast, and other fans of the show in the patrons-only Discord server. And if you are in there, you know that we can suggest items, or town names, or maybe your names will be featured in future episodes. And that is over at patreon.com/nextintheorder. We also have a Ko-Fi, or “coffee.” You can support us with no commitment at k-o-dash-f-i dot com slash nextintheorder. That’s ko-fi.com/nextintheorder. And of course, you already know, thank you to Magic Sword for the use of their song, “Battlefield (Dance with the Dead Remix),” as the theme song for our show. They’re incredible, they’re iconic. Find a link to more of their music in the description. And that is all from me this week, I will let you get back to the episode! Bye-bye!
[THEME MUSIC]
MAR: How long do we have until the Meeting of the Minds?
JAS: That is in… it is the afternoon, because our folks that need eight hours, you were up a little bit later, because that’s how time works here, you got up midmorning, little bit later than normal, and yeah. So you’ve got a few hours before that is happening. It’s around 4 o’clock is when that is.
NORTH: And the time now?
JAS: Time now, I’d probably put it at 10:30.
WINK: I have a worldbuilding question. I know the sun never leaves the sky, but does it move around in the sky.
JAS: It does. Yeah, it’s very weird, how it moves, but it does move around in the sky.
NORTH: So is everyone awake at this point?
JAS: Yep.
MAR: Yeah.
NORTH: All right. I want food. Valus wants food.
JAS: You are more than welcome to get food at the Cozy Cauldron.
NORTH: What kind of delicacies does this region offer.
JAS: So you’re not going to get any kind of local food at the Cozy Cauldron.
MAR: ‘Cause it’s gonna be Autumn food.
JAS: It’s gonna be Autumn food, which is like, your stews and your what have yous. A lot of cozier foods are from Autumn, like a lot of easy, you just throw it in a pot, forget about it kind of stuff. Whereas Endless Day has an interesting assortment of food, they have a lot of foods that are cooler in nature. Just, the food itself is physically cooler, like a lot of fresher, salads and things. When I say “fresher,” the salads themselves are not super crisp because stuff doesn’t grow here, so a lot of temperature-cooler foods. But also a lot of really spicy food. There is all of these different flavors… effectively, there’s curries, and there’s a lot of rice-based food, is a heavy import for them, so, yeah. They import a shitload of rice, and eat a lot of it.
NORTH: Okay. Valus is definitely going to stick with the soup. Of… whatever’s in it. I’m not sure, I don’t remember what’s in it, but yeah, soup.
JAS: You getting a breakfast soup or a lunch soup?
NORTH: It’s 10:30?
JAS: Yeah.
NORTH: Is there a brunch soup?
JAS: A brunch soup? What exactly is a brunch soup.
WINK: I feel like…
NORTH: Comes with a mimosa.
MAR: I feel like it contains a mimosa somehow.
JAS: You get a normal soup, with a mimosa on the side.
NORTH: I’ve never had a mimosa.
MAR: You’re never had a mimosa?
WINK: Wait, as North or as Valus?
NORTH: Uhh… yes.
JAS: What is Valus’ opinion of the mimosa? Answer this question without ever having had a mimosa yourself.
NORTH: Oh, fruity. Maybe?
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: It is orange juice based.
MAR: Yeah, it’s generally…
JAS: It’s orange juice and champagne.
WINK: There’s sometimes other juices in it, too.
JAS: Yes, that’s just like…
MAR: The base way to make a mimosa is orange juice and champagne, you can have variations of other juices and/or other types of sparkling wine, though it is generally sparkling white wine. But, yeah.
JAS: I’m just a baby.
MAR: You are just a baby.
JAS: Boom. A child.
MAR: Anyway!
JAS: Anyway!
NORTH: No.
MAR: Valus is of age, so Valus had a mimosa.
JAS: Valus is having a mimosa, and some soup.
WINK: What is the legal drinking age in Endless Day?
JAS: Okay, so, fun fact, there is no legal drinking age in Endless Day. Also, there is no standardized legal drinking age because that would be nigh impossible in a fantasy world where all of the races age differently. Do the math on it, like, what do you tell an elf?
MAR: Cire looks like she’s mid-20s, and she is 126 years old.
JAS: So like, duh-duh-duh-duh, whatcha gonna do? Like, standardized IDs?
MAR: Right, like how would you ID someone?
NORTH: But they wouldn’t like…
MAR: What if you cast Identify on someone?
JAS: Most any, a normal tavern keeper isn’t gonna be like, “Here, child, have Everclear.”
NORTH: Like, if Tillythatch just showed up in the inn, they’re not gonna be like, here’s your alcohol, Mr. Gnome. Or, is he a gnome?
JAS: Yes, he was a gnome - he was a child. So his dad could get alcohol, he could not. Probably. But there’s no standardization about it, so, no one gives a shit. Yes?
MERCER: My brain gave me the idea of clubs, like specifically in Winter and Endless Night having a Zone of Truth permanently cast on the door and you can’t get in until you tell the bouncer your actual age.
JAS: That’s very good. They’ve got like a chart of, “Okay.”
NORTH: The bouncer sitting there like…
MAR: Species and age, and then they can consult the chart.
JAS: There we go.
WINK: What the fuck would they do for Dryadfolk?
MAR: [“I DON’T KNOW” NOISE]
WINK: Dryadfolk don’t go clubbing, simple answer.
JAS: Correct.
WINK: Well, Hesperis does, but she’s not your average dryadfolk.
JAS: They would probably look at one and go, “I don’t know, can I get a manager.” Enough about the legal drinking ages in fantasy worlds. What are you doing with your day? You have a day, you have three jobs lined up that you are welcome to do if you would like, or you can just continue shopping and dicking around. I guess. It wouldn’t be very interesting, but you are welcome to do that.
MAR: Cire fully wants to go to the Meeting of the Minds.
NORTH: Yeah, I think I’m just going to grade the last of the papers I have, because lore-wise for Valus, he knew from the beginning of the semester he was going to leave, so he gave a bunch of work in the beginning of the semester, before he left, so he had plenty to grade.
MAR: Valus is the worst type of professor.
WINK: Hesperis picks up a new notebook from a merchant booth. [JAS: Okay.] And she gets a new pen, too ‘cause she’s run out of ink. Or, not run out, but she’s almost out. Hesperis is definitely the kind of bitch to use the same pen until she runs out of ink.
JAS: Yeah.
MAR: ‘Cause the pen’s purpose is to be used.
WINK: Yes. Is there a god of lost things?
JAS: Not specifically, but…
WINK: There is now.
JAS: You could… like, that probably would fall under Levion’s domain, to some extent, and also probably a little bit under the domain of The End. We haven’t gotten into much of The End, yet, but most people don’t like to, so… details.
NORTH: Given how the deity power system works off of belief, could enough people gaslight a new god into existence?
JAS: Yes, if they genuinely believed in the power of it, yes.
MAR: So if you raise children on the belief system that there is this other god, could you gaslight the children into gaslighting a god into existence?
JAS: Yes. Fully you could. But gods are defined by… gods are gonna have power by how much power they are given by the people who believe in them, so, like, if it’s just one dude that’s like, “Ah, I believe in this thing,” it’s gonna…
MAR: So if you gaslight the children hard enough.
JAS: You gaslight the children hard enough, and then they gaslight more people, then yeah. You could effectively speak it into being.
WINK: Oh, so like how evangelical Christians raise their kids.
NORTH:
JAS: Anyway!
WINK: I say, having been raised by evangelical Christians.
JAS: Anyway, I say having been raised by evangelical Christians. Are we just waiting out for the Meeting of the Minds?
WINK: Yeah, basically.
MAR: Yeah, I mean-
WINK: Can Hesperis perform in the town square? Is there a town square?
JAS: There is the marketplace, which seems to be like the general, thing, and there’s a few street performers, so Hesperis would be welcome to set up shop.
WINK: Do they have anywhere she can hook up her…? Oh, she has her amp.
JAS: She has her amp, she’s Gucci. But there’s no electricity, so no. But…
WINK: Hesperis sets up with her amp in the middle of wherever the fuck.
NORTH: How far away is the marketplace from the inn?
JAS: They’re… this town is small enough that most of it is in walking distance, and y’all are travelers so walking distance is obviously gonna be a little bit further, but it’s not far, just…
NORTH: I was wondering since Valus sits on the windowsill and stretches his wings while he grades papers, will he hear Hesperis?
WINK: Yes.
JAS: You can actually probably look down and see Hesperis performing. And hear her, because this inn has a few stories. You’re looking down.
WINK: She’s just gonna… set up, put her iron pot in front of her, stick a couple of her own coins in there so it looks like people like her, and she’s gonna start… fucking… going to down with her…
JAS: Roll a performance check.
[DICE ROLLING]
WINK: That’s cocked, but it was almost a nat 20, which pisses me off.
JAS: Damn.
WINK: That’s a fifteen.
JAS: Fifteen… people are…
MAR: Do you have expertise in performance?
WINK: Figured.
JAS: What’d you roll on the die?
WINK: A seven.
JAS: Yeah, well. People are looking around and they’re like. “Oh. Oh!” What kind of music are you playing?
WINK: She’s just… I don’t even really know how to describe it, she’s just fucking vibing.
JAS: Yeah.
WINK: She’s playing on her bass, so it’s not particularly melodic, I guess, but it’s very… it’s got a good rhythm to it.
JAS: You’re grooving, you’re hanging out, and you see several people come up and listen along, and somebody comes up to you, somebody a little bit bolder, you see a duergar, which is the dark dwarves, and you see a duergar comes up to you and says (as duergar) “Aye, what kind of machine is that?”
WINK: Um… to be honest, I’m not entirely sure. She’s still going at it, she’s still playing, and she’s… To be honest, I’m not entirely sure, one of my friends gave it to me. It’s got some sort of magic thingy going on and I’m not really sure, but it works without electricity, so I do what I can.
JAS: He’s actually pointing to your guitar, like, the bass.
WINK: Oh, right. This is my bass guitar, and y’know it’s got the strings and I play them.
JAS: He kind of gets almost uncomfortably close, and he’s like…
WINK: Uncomfortably close to Hesperis?
JAS: To looking at the guitar, at the bass guitar.
WINK: Oh, honey, you’re assuming Hesperis has spatial boundaries!
JAS: That’s fair, but he’s full-on, your hand nearly hits him while playing. And he’s like, (as duergar) That’s a piece of art right there. And he drops, effectively five big ass coins in your pot.
WINK: Thank you very much.
JAS: Yeah, what’s up?
NORTH: What style of bass playing does Hesperis do?
WINK: Hesperis would know the answer to that question, Wink was classically trained on the violin. So, Wink does not know the answer to that question.
NORTH: Okay. I’m gonna pretend that Hesperis told me.
WINK: Yeah. Hesperis definitely… it’s groovy, it’s real good!
NORTH: Hesperis playing slap bass. In the town square.
WINK: No, it’s like… back home in Spring, she played for a metal band. So… I don’t know that that means, musically, but it fucking rocks. [LAUGHING] My Avatar fixation went a little bit too hard.
JAS: All right. If that is- yes?
MAR: Cire probably also takes a moment to find some clothes that are a little bit more appropriate for Endless Day, however, Cire is… when it comes to her clothes, she’s very much a fan of versatility, so most of the clothes that she had and wore in Winter are clothes, that if she adjusts them and layers them properly, she could wear just about anywhere. Like, most of her outer clothes that make up her outfit are light enough that she could wear them just about anywhere, but she layers things under them, changes her foundation garments and such so that she would be able to adjust to the weather. But it scratches an itch in her brain to be able to wear the same outfit in Winter and Endless Day and be equally comfortable.
JAS: Yeah, anyway. That’s Mar slipping through right there. Bernadette Banner has taught you well, my friend. Um.
MAR: Leave me alone. That’s also Cire extending her worship of her god into her clothing.
JAS: That’s so good. So choice. Yeah, all right, are we ready to fast-forward to the Meeting of the Minds? So you see that… you all go to the location marked on this and you see it is a shop, actually. It is a shop called The I-Don’t-Have-It-Pulled-Up-In-Front-Of-Me.
WINK: That’s an interesting shop name.
JAS: It is, isn’t it? All right, you find a store, it’s a magic shop, actually, and it’s called Portable Potents. And you see that there are a few people there, a lot of them have hoods over their heads, kind of like, kind of disguising themselves as they walk in. And you see that they have a quick conversation with a clerk in the store. They all go to the same- anybody you notice goes to the same clerk. Like nobody’s being super casual about it, so this is easy enough to notice, but they all go to the same clerk, and have a brief conversation, and then the clerk leads them downstairs. So, you see this shop that is full of knick-knacks, and you see the two attendants in the store. One of them is an Aarakocra, that is the one leading people downstairs, and the other is a fire genasi.
NORTH: Can I make a perception, investigation check to see what’s around me? What’s around the shop?
JAS: Choose. Perception or investigation, don’t care.
NORTH: [STAMMERS] Investigation.
JAS: Cool.
[DICE ROLLING]
NORTH: We’re rolling high today! That’s a nine.
JAS: You’re like, “Ooh, there’s some magic items.” You see a lot of the standard fare, as far as magic shops go, you see some, “Ah, these are enchanted swords. Ah, there’s a few spell scrolls, Ah, there’s some healing potions and things.” Just your standard fare. Nothing particularly…
MAR: Does Cire notice the enchanted sword?
JAS: Does she?
MAR: Mar reaches for dice.
[LAUGHTER]
[DICE ROLLING]
MAR: Cire rolled a 19 for perception.
JAS: You see magic swords, magic axes, magic whatever you would like.
MAR: You see magic whats? Magic swords?!
JAS: Magic swords!
MAR: Shoutout to Magic Sword for the use of their song…
JAS: For the use of their song “Battlefield (Dance with the Dead Remix)” Yeah. Yeah, you see magic swords.
MAR: I would like to look at the magic swords.
JAS: Yeah! You see there are several different ones. There’s different kinds of swords; you’ve got your short sword, your longsword, your whatever, what have you. You see there is also specifically… there is a large section of scimitars that are incredibly sexy looking.
MAR: May I borrow your Player’s Handbook really quickly?
JAS: Yes, you may.
MAR: I would like to know what the stats on the different types of swords are. ‘Cause I don’t have that memorized.
NORTH: I think, are scimitars martial weapons?
MAR: I believe so, yes.
NORTH: I think they might be a d6.
JAS: I think a scimitar’s a d8, but I could be wrong.
MAR: A scimitar is 1d6 slashing, it is a light finesse weapon.
JAS: But yeah, they got, that…
MAR: No, I just wanted to know what the vibes were for, yeah, specifically a scimitar, but…
NORTH: Light finesse.
JAS: Effectively…
MAR: Do finesse weapons use dexterity or strength or can you choose?
JAS: I don’t know if you can choose, but they use dexterity, generally.
MAR: “When making an attack with a finesse weapon, you use your choice of Strength of Dexterity for the attack and damage rolls. You must use the same modifier for both rolls.”
JAS: Your choice, then.
MAR: So, yeah, what are the magic sword options!?
JAS: Generally, most of them are just +1s. You see that there is one wicked, it’s a massive scimitar, and it is, I know we just said that scimitars have the light and finesse features? You don’t think that this one is finesse, like this is bigger in shape, but it is this massive curved blade, and it’s actually a dark, almost gunmetal gray with this ornate golden handle. And you see it is a Scimitar of Wounding, which you are welcome to look up. There’s also several guns, by the way. Sorry, forgot to mention that. There are several magic guns.
WINK: [SAD TROMBONE NOISE]
JAS: While Mar is reading that, Mercer, what’s up?
MERCER: How many healing potions could I buy with two loot?
JAS: With two loot, you could buy two healing potions.
MERCER: Cool. I’m going to buy healing potions, because we no longer have a cleric.
MAR: Is there a price on this scimitar?
JAS: It would be four loot.
MAR: Okay.
JAS: ‘Cause it’s a beast.
MAR: And you said it wouldn’t have the light property?
JAS: No it would not.
MAR: And that’s something you added to the description, not just…
JAS: ‘Cause it is larger than a traditional scimitar.
MAR: Right. Would that change the damage that it does.
JAS: Uh… what does it say it is?
MAR: It’s a d6.
JAS: Make it a d8. And those potions are actually greater healing potions. So go ahead and add two Greater Healing Potions to your inventory.
NORTH: I would also, actually, like to get one.
JAS: Cool, yeah, you can grab one.
MAR: Are there any interesting-looking greatswords?
JAS: No, pretty much, that is the only weapon you see that’s incredibly fanc- that’s like a souped-up weapon. Everything else here seems to be a little bit standard, but you do see that there is, in our terms, a +1 greatsword.
MAR: And if I remember correctly, are the +1 weapons one loot?
JAS: Yes.
MAR: Okay. It vaguely pains Cire to leave the Scimitar of Wounding, but I think she would get the +1 greatsword.
NORTH: I have a question about spellcasting real quick?
JAS: Yeah, go for it.
NORTH: So, I know we have spell level slots, how many of each level do you get? Or does that change over time?
MAR: It depends on your level.
NORTH: Okay, so we’re…
MAR: There’s a chart in the Player’s Handbook for wizards.
NORTH: Oh, okay.
JAS: At fourth level, you have four first level and three second level spell slots.
NORTH: Okay. I need to write that down.
MAR: I need to mark off one loot for the greatsword.
NORTH: You said four first and three second.
JAS: Yes.
MAR: Y’all are getting second level spells?
WINK: Yeah.
MERCER: No.
JAS: In this economy?
NORTH: Do I have any second level spells?
MAR: No, I said, “Y’all are getting second level spells?” Because…
NORTH: Okay, I thought you were asking if I was…
MAR: Cire’s a partial caster, she doesn’t get second level spells until fifth level.
JAS: Is anybody else picking up anything from the shop? You are welcome to look around.
WINK: Does Hesperis see anything that would be of interest to her?
JAS: Uhh.
NORTH: Does she?
JAS: Yeah, does she?
[DICE ROLLING]
WINK: That’s an eighteen plus numbers.
JAS: Uh, you see like, a lot of it’s fairly standard fare - things that you probably would have seen before, you see there’s a rapier, some rapiers, some daggers, a lot of it is very basic, like very basic magic weapons. Nothing like insane, except for the Scimitar of Wounding, that is the only thing here that is…
WINK: Are any of the daggers pretty?
JAS: Yeah, there’s one dagger that you see is ornately carved. It doesn’t have any special magical properties to it, but it’s pretty.
WINK: How much is it?
JAS: It’s half a loot.
WINK: Eh… Hesperis is probably going to need some new guitar strings at some point, but I don’t think she’s going to find them here.
JAS: Yeah, no. Would you like to go talk to the store clerk?
MAR: I sure would like to.
NORTH: I’d like someone else to talk to the store clerk, ‘cause I won’t do a good job.
WINK: In theory, Hesperis would probably do the best job, but… I don’t know what to say.
JAS: I mean, you can roll an insight check if you would like.
NORTH: Isn’t this also a publicly posted job?
JAS: They’re not going to be like, “Ah, yes, we publicly posted this.”
NORTH: What’s the handshake?
MAR: I think Cire would just go up to the clerk and kind of, please don’t make me roleplay this whole thing, but Cire would just kind of, briefly outline, we just came into town, we saw your posting, we were curious, what’s going on?
JAS: (as clerk) Oh! You’re here for the Meeting. Excellent.
WINK: That sounded a little bit creepy.
NORTH: I don’t like the way you’re smiling.
JAS: (as clerk) I always sound creepy, I get it a lot.
WINK: What?
JAS: This is the aarkockra.
WINK: What flavor of aarakocra?
JAS: You see that this person almost looks like a roadrunner.
MAR: That’s delightful.
NORTH and WINK: [IMITATING ROADRUNNER]
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: But yeah, he says, I’m told I sound creepy frequently, but, if you’re here for the Meeting, then welcome! And he says, “If you will, follow me! Oh, are you a group? Do you have a name?”
WINK: Yes! We are a group. We are the Storycatchers.
JAS: (as clerk) Well, it is wonderful to meet you, The Storycatchers. And he’s like, if you will, follow me, and kind of bows and swoops along. And you see that there is a door… it’s a door that you have seen him lead a few other people to, and he says, now, go down there and you can tell them that [BIRD NOISE] sent you.
WINK: That is your name? Your name is [BIRD NOISE]?
JAS: Yes.
WINK: Did I get the pronunciation?
JAS: Yes. You did quite well. Better than most people.
NORTH: Valus is gonna lean in to Cire, and say: Maybe this was a mistake, this is a little weird.
MAR: Isn’t weird exactly what this group needs?
NORTH: Do we anymore?
MAR: Yes.
MERCER: Yes.
NORTH: I’m not in front.
JAS: Cool. You go downstairs and you see, it’s almost a little bit baffling. There is this large, this large underground. I think for most of you, your first thought is, an arena, but Valus, your first thought is lecture hall.
NORTH: How many students could it sit?
JAS: Probably about 250. It’s a decent sized lecture hall. So…
WINK: Does Valus have like, a professor-gasm?
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: I don’t know, that’s a Valus decision, not a me decision. But you see there are all of these seats that are like carved out of sandstone. And you see that now people have their hoods off, and are just milling about talking to one another, and there’s all variety of people here. Like, whoever wants to, roll an insight check.
[DICE ROLLING]
MAR: Oh, I sure would like to.
MERCER: I also would like to.
NORTH: Listen. I need…
WINK: That is a seventeen for Hesperis.
NORTH: That’s a… wait, what are we rolling?
MAR and WINK: Insight.
MERCER: Twenty-two.
NORTH: Sixteen.
MAR: Cire rolled a 13.
WINK: Is that your highest roll today?
NORTH: Yes.
JAS: Jesus Christ.
NORTH: And that was a +1 to that, everything else was a +4 or +6 that I’ve tried to roll.
JAS: Jesus Christ.
WINK: Can I get an eebert deebert in chat?
MAR, JAS, and MERCER: Eebert deebert.
JAS: All right, Caelum, with that excellent roll - most of you are looking around and you’re like, “Okay, these people seem… normal.” You see that there’s all variety of folk, all different kinds of races, quite a few lizardfolk, and a lot of them are desert lizards, you would notice.
WINK: Is there a horny toad?
JAS: There can be a horny toad if you would…[WINK: Fuck yeah!] Actually there’s a horny toad Grung, so like, that’s the frog people, but this one is a toad. That’s…
WINK: I just like the name horny toad.
JAS: Excellent. I’m so glad. And so you see there’s all these different kinds of people, and Mercer, er, Caelum, you’re the one to pick up, you’re looking around and you’re like, “What?” This is such a random assortment, and then you start to notice. Most of these people, actually all of these people, are regular day-to-day people. No one looks particularly wealthy, no one looks like they have any amount of wealth. These look like, what we would call blue-collar workers. That’s… some of them are merchants and things like that, but nobody looks affluent in any kind of way. Just pretty much, mostly lower-class people here for a Meeting of the Minds, it seems. But you do notice…
WINK: Lower class, or lower middle class?
JAS: Lower class to lower middle. And you also notice that everyone here is strapped. Like, either with guns, or, everyone here in some capacity is strapped.
[WINK LAUGHING]
JAS: I am going to commit a murder in this library room.
NORTH: Where’s the Communist Manifesto?
MERCER: I did not bring it.
MAR: Eh, we can smack Jas with the Player’s Handbook.
JAS: Me??
WINK: You’re the one that said they were strapped. Are some of them also pegged?
[ALL EXCEPT MAR LAUGHING]
MAR: You’re next.
NORTH: The start of a player rebellion.
JAS: This is actually a coup.
NORTH: Just, mutiny.
JAS: Yeah.
MERCER: That reminds me, I actually can catch bullets at my current monk level.
JAS: Nice!
MAR: Delicious.
WINK: How do you learn you can catch bullets?
NORTH: You try.
MAR: You catch bullets.
JAS: Are you gonna talk to people or keep to yourselves, what’s the..?
NORTH: I would like to find… you know what? I’m gonna investigate for the smartest looking person and ask if this is a routine thing, if this happens often?
JAS: Yeah, um, so you’re looking for the smartest person? Roll insight.
NORTH: That is a nineteen.
JAS: Oh! You actually find someone close to the front, essentially, and you see that the floor is still kind of, there is a sandy floor to it, like natural looking walls and things, but it’s also entirely made out of sandstone and looks pretty carved out. Right? And you see a… you actually see the same drow person that gave you directions in the street. You’re looking around and they say, (as drow) Oh, did you find your way to the post office all right?
NORTH: Oh, yes, actually, I do apologize again, we’re very new to town, actually only came in yesterday.
JAS: (as drow) Well, I understand. This person looks at you and says: Well, my name’s Feylran if you need anything. Feylran, F-E-Y-L-R-A-N. Feylran.
NORTH: Is this you spelling it or is this person spelling it for me?
JAS: This is the voice of God whispering into your ear.
MAR: This is the voice of God whispering into Mar’s notes so Mar doesn’t have to ask.
JAS: Yeah. Exactly. So Feylran. (as Feylran) My name’s Feylran if you need anything. I take it then that this is your first meeting.
NORTH: Yes, actually. The whole is quite beautiful, what actually happens here.
JAS: (as Feylran) Well, depends on the week. You’ve actually stopped by for an interesting one, I kind of help organize these sometimes, but generally, this is a place where people… who might not have as much access to educational systems - there’s not a lot of infrastructure out here - you, Winter? From Winter?
NORTH: Yes, how did you know?
JAS: (as Feylran) You’re red as hell. Just, lobster Valus.
MAR: Does Feylran also clock Cire, or?
JAS: Did Cire come over to Feylran, into this conversation?
MAR: Yeah, I think Cire would’ve drifted vaguely over.
JAS: (as Feylran) Oh, and you got some friends? Is..? Do you still have your Profs on? Or was that something you switched out?
MAR: Yes, but they’re probably not particularly visible under what Cire’s wearing - they’re usually not.
JAS: So then he doesn’t clock - they, not he, they don’t comment on it. They just kind of…
MAR: So Feylran’s pronouns are they/them?
JAS: Correct. And yeah, they say, we can usually tell when people come from out of season, glad you could be here. Basically, we don’t have a lot of the educational infrastructure, so whoever can, we invite them here to learn, but also it’s for organizing. Not a lot of law here, I don’t know if you noticed, but… they look around the room and kind of gesture. These are the people that run this city.
NORTH: So it’s somewhat of an equal-opportunity council?
JAS: (as Feylran) Pretty much. I mean, we do a little bit of educating. Today we are doing… we’ve got a little bit of a history lesson for you, so, hope you enjoy that. ‘Cause most people don’t know. Endless Day’s fairly rural, and, they say, I happen to have been brought up decently well, so I help in ways I can. This is not my week, I invited a guest lecturer to come in this week. But, we start off, we do a little lesson - so sometimes we teach people how to do math, we teach people how to read, and then we talk about what issues are happening in the city, what issues are happening beyond. If there’s anything the people need to know about, they come here. So, yeah, you’re welcome to sit and watch, and learn with us, or if you’ve got any insights to add, we’d love to hear them.
NORTH: That is an absolutely lovely goal. Can I, he says, if there are things outside the town that people need to know, can I make an insight check to see if this guy’s the kind of guy that would hide things that people don’t need to know about?
JAS: Yeah, roll an insight check.
[DICE ROLLING]
NORTH: Don’t worry about it.
JAS: Great, you have no idea. What did you roll? I’m nosy.
NORTH: Three.
[LAUGHTER]
JAS: Hard to read.
MAR: I think Cire would also be curious to know if this is the type of person that would keep things that the public doesn’t need to know.
JAS: Then you are also welcome to roll.
NORTH: Didn’t you say that people don’t have access to information.
[DICE ROLLING]
MAR: That’s a fourteen.
JAS: A fourteen, as far as you can tell, they really just want to educate people. I’ll give you… never mind, you didn’t do well on your history check earlier, I wasn’t gonna give you extra information.
NORTH: I didn’t get to…
JAS: You can make a history check if you want.
[DICE ROLLING]
NORTH: Oh, nineteen.
JAS: Damn. Valus doesn’t have a lot of access to a lot of this knowledge, so I’m just going to give you what Valus would know. Endless Day is very stereotypically, like, “dumb,” it is very stereotypically uneducated. Especially since there is no infrastructural systems in place to help people get educated, and so, you would be aware of that fact. So you wouldn’t have the combined that Cire has, of “this guy genuinely seems on the level.”
NORTH: Then I think Valus is going to excitedly bid adieu and find a seat.
JAS: Cool.
MAR: Honestly, Cire thinks this is more Valus’ wheelhouse, so she’s just sorta following their lead and figuring out along the way what’s going on.
WINK: I have a question.
JAS: I have an answer.
WINK: With the way that Hesperis is mostly covered from head to toe right now, does she kind of just look like a weird elf with a weird hat on? Like, people when they see her, they probably wouldn’t immediately clock her as a dryadfolk?
JAS: Probably not. People would probably be like: I don’t know what that is, because Hesperis is still seven feet tall, but I think with the layers, that you are wearing, you would be less clock-able.
WINK: Okay.
JAS: Cool. Are we sitting down?
NORTH: I’ve also just, for meta’s sake, I just want to explain this to the other party members before I find a seat. I don’t want to just walk over, talk to somebody, and just leave.
JAS: Right.
MAR: Yeah, I think Cire would find a seat.
JAS: Cool. And you all sit down, and you see a minotaur walk out. Like, in giant burly frame, and she’s got these little glasses on, and she’s got some longer hair that’s tied back up in a bun, and a little, these flowy pants, and big flowy bell sleeves.
NORTH: Go on.
JAS: And…
WINK: Monsterfucker.
JAS: And she comes out and she says, she kind of… somebody brings out a podium, and she taps on the podium a few times, and you see, a hush immediately falls over the room, and several people are scrambling and getting in their seats, and it genuinely seems like everyone here is watching with rapt attention - they seem excited. And she says, “Hello, class, welcome to today’s history lesson. Our topic: dragons.”
[THEME MUSIC]
